“Talking to Strangers” — Malcolm Gladwell

#Readingin2019

Hema Menon
Nov 3 · 3 min read

Reading “Talking to Strangers” drew interest and conversation from many strangers than any other book that I’ve read. Well, being a Malcolm Gladwell book, it’s of no surprise. Anyone and everyone seems to be a fan of Malcolm Gladwell, and wants to know how good is the book that you are reading, and they are waiting to read. Ok, let’s move past the appearances. The fact that I was carrying the book around, during a train ride to work, in the plane back home and reading it while at office during lunch break, and while waiting for train and plane to arrive, pretty much sums up the review of the book. Gladwell takes you around for a journey starting with a glimpse of Sandra Bland’s encounter with a traffic cop, leaves it there and move on to spies, diplomats, sexual assaults, murder, terrorists, suicide, guns and ending it all with Sandra Bland. All along, trying to understand strangers and conversations with strangers.

Narrating the story of Cuban spies & double agents, Gladwell wonders why is it that we cannot tell when a stranger is lying to our face. He builds our curiosity to know the story more and what we make out of it, effectively, by moving from one story to another, coupled with narrating the research findings. We find it difficult to assess a stranger’s honesty, doesn’t matter if we have met him once or multiple times. We tend to default to truth, author states, except for the few like, Markopolos, in Bernie Madoff’s case who does not.

The case studies that the author brings out on the Sandusky molestation, on Amanda Knox and the sexual assault of Emily Doe are vividly written, that you feel like being part of those cases. Interestingly, after reading the book, I happened to hear Oprah’s Soul podcast with the real “Emily Doe”, Chanel Miller, and as I listened to it, I felt I knew so much about her, and what she went thru, just by reading about it in Gladwell’s book.

A cautionary note on not being able to know the whole truth, and the limits in understanding a stranger is what the author concludes with additional case studies on the terrorist interrogation and torture. With the explanation on coupling, we are invited to understand the stranger’s world than just jumping into conclusions. And finally Gladwell comes back to Sandra Bland’s story.

At the end of it, I am left to think not just about talking to strangers, it also leaves you wondering how you would see others and yourself too. Gladwell’s masterful narration of the stories mixed with insightful studies make it an interesting read. Easier to read and comprehend. I highly recommend reading this book, it will get you to think beyond the obvious with any stories that you come across in our daily life, or in your interactions with a stranger.

P.S- I might listen to the book again, probably on audible, since one of the strangers that I got into conversation with, at the train station, told me that “Gladwell’s books needs to be listened to, especially narrated by the author”. I am sure she is right and this book is worth a read/listen again.

Hema Menon

Written by

Acting out the circle of life. Roles Played: Daughter,Sister,Friend, Student,Colleague,Wife, Mother & Runner. An eternal learner.. Living in the land of free…

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