How to Lead When You Hate Yourself
You can’t. Here’s why…
Jackie Brownell
A few days ago I had a hall program for my residents. I have a lot going on right now so I didn’t put too much effort into the program ideas for this month. One of my programs was a passive program that was done through an email, and the other I will admit was very poorly advertised. Both were on fairly un-intriguing topics, and I put little effort into spicing them up to increase resident interest.
What else was going on the night that I planned these programs?
I was procrastinating on my thesis full draft
I was waiting with baited breath to hear back from a job that I interviewed for a little while back, and the wait was not reassuring
I had put off going to the gym for the third day in a row
I ate Taco Bell. Twice in the past week.
I spent money that I don’t have on clothes when I need to be saving up for a mission trip and the fact that one day soon I’ll have to be an adult
I hadn’t showered in two days
My room was a mess
My laundry was twice the size of the bag that contained it
My dishes were all dirty
and needless to say I was feeling terrible about myself.
I often find myself struggling to find things I like about myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very happy person; I enjoy being around my friends and I am proud of my accomplishments. Sometimes it’s just hard to remember all the things I am proud of. We all get down on ourselves sometimes; it just happens. We are constantly comparing ourselves to the people around us, and if you’re anything like me, the people around you are awesome. The down side to surrounding yourself with successful, confident, and kind people is that comparing yourself to them is exhausting. I look at my friends and the people I’m close with and I see all the things they are doing right, and I focus on everything I am doing wrong. But who really has it all together? Perfectionism once again blinds me to the things that make people great. People struggle, and they don’t have it all figured out. That’s okay, because neither do I. It is the overcoming of the struggles that makes people strong and admirable.
I read an article recently called The Secret to Leadership Stamina http://www.smartceo.com/half-the-sky-the-importance-of-stamina/. The article gives us 6 tips for greater leadership stamina. Out of the six, four are directly related to caring about yourself, something I surely wasn’t practicing on the night I came up with the programs for my hall this month. The first tip tells us to focus on wellness. Something as simple as going to the doctor for a check-up seems like a complete waste of time to the average leader who is probably juggling 4 other projects and feeling perfectly fine. I never make time to go to the doctor unless I’m really sick. But caring about your body and checking on its wellness regularly is important for anyone, especially someone who undergoes as much stress as the average leader.
The second tip tells us to move our bodies. When I start to focus on a project, it is very common for me to be sitting in a chair for hours working. By the time I’m finished, my back, shoulders, and neck are sore, and I’m so exhausted that I can’t work on anything else before a significant break. Moving your body regularly releases endorphins and can keep your mind happy, and when we feel better, we do better. Taking care of your body by moving around and exercising a little can go a long way for increasing your stamina and helping you accomplish even more as a leader.
I encourage you to check out the article and read more about how to increase your leadership stamina, but before you do, take a walk. Schedule a doctor’s appointment that you have been putting off. Finish the things you’ve been putting off. Eat a vegetable. Do things that will make you feel better about yourself, because when you feel better about yourself, that’s when you can be fully successful in taking care of others and leading them, and yourself, to success.
