The Best Leaders Need Help Sometimes
By: Nicole Byrne
When reflecting on my leadership experience, I sat down and googled “the character traits of a good leader.” A list immediately popped up with several qualities listed on it, such as: dominance, charisma, intuitiveness, and courageousness. I then began thinking about how often a person in one of these positions is looked to when others need support or advice. These same people then serve as the example for others to follow. However, when one does research into, or brainstorms about, the qualities of a leader, they usually do not think about that person’s willingness to ask for help when they need it. Because they are held in such high regard, I have found those in leadership positions often find it difficult to reach out for help for this very reason.
I am unsure of whether this feeling applies to all in leadership positions, but has definitely proven to be one of my biggest character flaws. Because I am constantly looked up to when my friends, peers, and club members need help, I often find it much harder to ask for help myself. Upon reflecting on my experiences, I have realized that when I am reticent to ask others for help, I shoulder the entire burden when it is unnecessary for me to do so. Upon further exploration, I stumbled upon a truly transformative quote by John Donne that says, “No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main.” This quote has become influential in shifting my mindset to thinking that it is okay to ask for help, even when I am worried of how others may respond. Through my reflections and research, I have discovered that being a good leader means that you realize you cannot do everything yourself, even if you want to. I have also learned that even the strongest of leaders need support sometimes.
The extreme expectations often placed on leaders have made me question many times what type of help is appropriate for one to ask for. In my own experience, I have noted that leaders are often expected to be independent and self-sufficient, without asking for help when the road seems rough ahead. They are told to be innovative, and creative, and if they are successful, magically the answers to their problems should appear. In a recent Forbes article, author Erika Andersen answered my inquiry in an interesting way. In her post, Andersen likens modern day leadership to a narrative surrounding a young boy looking to complete a quest and ultimately become a leader, in order to give the reader perspective. She notes that in most leadership narratives, three types of supporters are critically important to success for boy, and in turn, the modern leader: wizards, well-wishers, and wild cards. Now the question is, what do these terms mean? Andersen goes on to define a wizard as someone who provides the important insights and skills when one does not have them, and offer approaches and process that help one to develop in their leadership potential. She notes, “Wizards help you grow — and every leader needs that.” She next describes well-wishers as those who serve as your support system when the going gets tough, and inspire you to be the best that you can be. Lastly, there are the wild cards. These are the people that seem as though they may be a roadblock, or a threat to one’s success, but once they are on your side, they serve to be key in fixing whatever problem you may have.
At the conclusion of her article, Andersen notes that leadership is not a solo activity. Rather, one needs the interaction and support of others in order to be a successful leader. I have come to realize that is it important that one should not be afraid to ask for help when they need it, because that help can be the make it or break it for success. In dealing with roadblocks in future leadership endeavors, it may be useful for me to identify the wizards, well-wishers, and wild-cards present in the situation. Doing so may give me the insight required to make the right decisions when I need help, yet am apprehensive about asking. Through reflections and research, I have learned that it is alright to need help sometimes, and that help is not something to be ashamed of needing.
Works Cited:
Andersen, Erika. “Great Leaders Don’t Do It Alone… They Get Help.” Forbes. Oct. 9 2012. <http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2012/10/09/great-leaders-dont-do-it-alone-they-get-help/#3f92c9b95152>
Warrell, Margie. “Asking For Help Reveals Strength, Not Weakness.” Forbes. Mar. 24 2015. <http://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2015/03/24/asking-for-help-is-a-sign-of-strength-not-weakness/#47499855417a>
