Drawing my Dates: Vodka Lemonade

Enduring someone more self-absorbed than I am

Drawing by Jay Boucher. Print available.

Sometimes you know you’re not compatible with an online date the moment you see them in-person. They could look drastically different than their pictures or their clothes could look more suitable for a Texas rodeo than a Manhattan cocktail bar. For me it’s often height; at 6’2″ I tend to gravitate to women who are significantly taller than the bar we’re drinking at. If she’s standing in front of me, talking into my belly button I know it’s probably not going to work out.

Even if there’s no physical chemistry most of the time things turn out OK. I’ve learned a lot from meeting women who are smart and successful in different endeavors. While we may not see each other again, having drinks and good conversation makes life better for at least a little while.

This date, however, was not OK. It wasn’t just her fringed leather vest. It was the fact that she talked about herself the entire time. First dates, like job interviews, are usually 50/50 conversations, with a relatively even balance of anecdotes and questions about each other. Unfortunately this date was more like 98/2, with the entire conversation resolved around her move to Jersey City, her commute, her job search, her old job, her old boyfriend, her old apartment, her new apartment, her etc. My feeble attempts to guide our conversation in alternate directions only managed to unearth new subjects for her to pontificate on and fed her self-involvement.

Eventually we sat staring at each other in silence; she was obviously bored with me and the feeling was mutual. I tossed back the last of my vodka lemonade and she disappeared to the ladies room as I was served the check. We parted ways the moment we stepped outside and were both relieved that the night was over.

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