Just When I Thought You Were Different

On my swim team, it is not uncommon for us to stay in town over the summer and train until the end of July.

My 3 best friends at the time and myself stayed in a townhouse from the beginning of May to the end of July. In that time, we swam (a lot), took online classes, hung out, and I found a job to stay busy.

I was hired super last-minute by a high-end country club in town. The drive was far but it was a job so I took it. I lifeguarded 3 days a week surrounded by people that were my complete opposites. This was your stereotypical southern country club with a lot of rich people walking around and I felt extremely out of place.

The place was disorganized, unprofessional, and the workers were immature. You would think for how nice the country club was that there would be some sense of professionalism. There was none.

My first day of work I met Tyler.

After everything I had just recently been through with Hunter, I was in no place to consider seeing someone again. But he was the only one at work that really talked to me.

He swam for a Division 3 all boys college about an hour from my school and he grew up at the country club.

We had a lot in common like swimming, music, broadway, adventuring, car rides, family life. He quickly became one of my good friends and we went hiking to a waterfall, bridge jumping, jet skiing, just countless activities that easily made last summer the best summer of my life.

Tyler grew feelings for me and did not hesitate to tell me about them once they developed. I remember talking on the phone with him late at night crying over the fact that I was scared to get hurt again. He said things to me that would have reassured even the most hard headed girl.

He was different, so I decided to give him a chance. I had never been treated so well before and it was so nice.

The story of how we first kissed is long and confusing so all you really need to know is that it happened on July 3, 2016 after a night of breaking into the country club, stealing a golf cart, and stargazing on the golf course.

His group of friends were rebellious troublemakers but I went along with it.

He finally asked me to be his girlfriend on July 19, 2016. I was leaving town to go back home just a few days after so we knew that a long distance relationship was on our hands.

The month of August we texted everyday, snapchatted, phone calls, etc. My mom wanted to meet him so we planned to go visit him at his school on August 25 before dropping me back off college.

I was beyond excited to see him, like c’mon, I haven’t seen my boyfriend in over a month! I am a very touchy person so when I first got out of the car to see him I ran over and nearly knocked him over with my tackle hug.

But the favor was not returned. I barely got a hug out of Tyler let alone a kiss. Like, boy, you have not seen your girlfriend in weeks and you can’t even give her a quick kiss?! UGH. It still bothers me to this day.

So Tyler met my mom but he was not his normal self. I don’t know if he was nervous or what but the kid I was with that day was not the kid I grew to like so much a few months prior.

He gave us a driving tour of campus but the tour was mostly just him pointing out where all the frat houses were and what parties were held where.

My mom HATES drinking and partying so I knew this visit was not going to end well and her first impression of him was not going to be positive.

After a few more hours of awkward and forced conversations, we left. I was confused with what had just happened and my mom was furious. She could not believe this was the guy I had talked so highly of for months.

We had a HUGE fight on the way back to school. I had never wanted to get out of the car more than I did for that hour car ride. I called Tyler that night and we fought over the phone.

Tyler and I talked for almost 2 hours and the only thing that came out of it was the fact that he enjoyed getting drunk and it wasn’t something he was willing to give up. And considering the long line of alcoholism in my family, it was not something I was willing to tolerate in my relationship.

The next night, we fought again but this time he called a quits. I would say that the decision was mutual but he was the one to say we were through.

Tyler broke up with me the night before my birthday. Happy Birthday to me?

So that was that. I let my guard down to a guy I thought was different and he turned out to be another one of the failures.

To top off the break up, on August 29 I found out I, along with my 2 other best friends, were suspended from swimming in the first 2 meets of the season because my roommate had told the coaches about alcohol being in our apartment over the summer. Plot twist: it was her idea to have the get together the night the coaches found out about because it was her birthday.

That’s a completely different story but anyways that was my rock bottom. I knew a complete and utter change like no change before had to be made in my life.

— BR

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