Most of my social circle has found their significant others through online dating. When you’ve learned enough to know not to poison your work and friend circles with romantic couplings that once sour ruin places you used to call home, you don’t have many other places to turn to find other adults on the same page as you.
I agree with another poster that expectations should be set much lower than you seem to be setting for yourself. Meet someone quickly, go on a short date, and see if there’s a spark that you’re interested in learning more about the person. More often than not, that won’t be there, but you also only spent an hour on finding that out. Once you know if that initial spark exists, you can move onto longer dates where you can get to know each other and decide if you want to progress to higher levels of commitment.
You don’t know you’ve found the love of your life on date 1. All you know is you’d like to learn more about this person. And that’s all you need on a first date!