Your Evolving Mind — Part 4: Intro to Emotions
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”
— Henry Ford
I’m sure you’ve heard this quote several times in your life. And at first glance it seems fairly simple to understand.
But, what does this mean on the micro level of thoughts and emotions?
The truth is, sometimes what we think is biased and untrue, but we simply don’t notice it because it’s not within our awareness. This is where an objective third person perspective comes in handy.
If you find yourself unable to achieve something important, and have no clue what’s happening, then feel free to set up a call with me, and I’d be happy to help you out.
Now back to the scientific explanation of Mr. Ford’s famous quote.
1. Your Thoughts Dominate
Our body is a very interesting machine. It absorbs information and stimuli from the external world, processes it, and then creates an output.
For Example: We first receive a stimulus (like a sound), which our mind decodes (oh that’s the doorbell, oh that’s my phone, oh that’s the alarm), and then we spring into action.
The quality of our thoughts greatly influence the type of action we take.
If our thoughts about answering the doorbell are negative and even scary, then you can be sure that the door will remain locked, and no one will be opening it.
While the example is very basic and simple, it does describe a universal pattern of how thoughts, emotions and actions influence each other.
2. Your Feelings Influence
Darwin famously identified that:
“Certain complex actions are of direct or indirect service under certain states of the mind, in order to relieve or gratify certain sensations, desires, etc.;...” (NIH, 2002)
Seeing as how we all evolved on the same planet, it is no wonder that certain emotions are universal, and thus known as basic emotions:
joy, anger, sadness, fear, love, disliking and liking.
The way these emotions feel might be similar, but the way we express them differ by experience, culture and education.
For instance, if you are angry with someone, you might feel like yelling at them and cursing them out, and some people will do just that. Yet, someone else can opt for a cold shoulder or the silent treatment.
While the anger is felt equally similarly by both parties, the way the individuals choose to express and act upon it are worlds apart.
3. Thoughts, Feels, Actions
When it comes to actions, there is an infinite number of outcomes.
After all, each person is different.
For example, some can feel love and be inspired to shower the other person with intricate displays of affection. For another, feeling love leads to shyness and withdrawal. Such individuals avoid openly interacting with their love interest, and the only signs they send are stolen glances.
What’s important to note about action is — as long as there is respect for all involved parties, the idea of right and wrong reaction does not exist.
The only time something is ‘wrong’ is when it’s not aligned with our true self. When we want to express our love, but become anxious, so we avoid interaction, that’s wrong. When we want to be active, but shy away from the gym because we don’t feel fit or good enough to join a group activity, that’s wrong.
These things are wrong because they stifle our growth and potential.
It is in these moments, when we notice a disconnect between what we desire and what we do that it’s time to pause, reflect and become aware of what’s causing the inconsistency.
4. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway
Boom! So easy. Right?
No, not so fast.
Our mind is not a filing cabinet, it is a network of thoughts, memories, feelings, habits, learned cultural norms, and so much more.
Turning off fear requires more than a light switch approach. There is no easy button that can be pressed on and off at will.
Instead, fear is like a ball of tangled wires, and to put it away we need to pick up the cords, separate them and stow them away in an organized manner.
Fear is a feeling that we are incapable or unskilled enough to try something new. It is the feeling that we will be judged, questioned or laughed at for doing something we’re not yet good at. And it is our evolutionary fear of being alienated from the group that is the root cause of this problem.
What once was a survival tool in the wild, is now a weight on our shoulders, keeping us down, unable to enjoy and grow in life.
The best way to move past this is to replace that fear with curiosity. As mentioned before, our mind can’t hold two opposing thoughts at the same time, and it also doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined.
Therefore, by getting clear and curios about our dreams and goals, we can generate enough positive energy to move into action.
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Take Away
Emotions are signs.
They reveal our conscious and subconscious thoughts, beliefs, and habits.
When we see that our life is not being lived and experienced to its fullest potential, it means that something in our thinking has become tangled, and our energy to take action is being blocked.
As was explained in the previous post, only 5% of our thoughts are conscious, and 95% of them are subconscious — so we can’t always logically explain and point to the problem.
But, without taking the time to reflect and understand, we continue to experience similar situations that leave us feeling doubtful, uncertain and annoyed, both at ourselves and others.
The good news (and the bad news) is that change starts from within, more specifically, with your thoughts. If you are ready for change, but are unsure how to go about it, then talk to an expert who can help.
