Physical isolation is finally starting to break me

Image for post
Image for post
Image by KLEITON Santos from Pixabay

My social circle has been minimized to actual circles. My once-close friends are small, unmoving profile pics. They are spontaneous strings of text that I read like short snippets of stories in real-time.

My very best friends are now blinking ellipses. They are little square nightlights of cold, touchless communication.

They’ve become less and less human, and more of a transmission. My only connection to the outside world, and I’m getting numb to their effect.

I’m an older millennial. Though I never really liked dividing and labeling our age groups, because it causes too many stupid stereotypes, I’ll comment on my millennial status as far as what society assumes it to be. …

I make it clear when I need to be fucked

Image for post
Image for post
Image by press 👍 and ⭐ from Pixabay

My libido has taken a nose-dive. These past four weeks, I’ve had no sexual desire to speak of.

I know I’m in good company. We’ve all been dealing with stress, loss, grief, depression, anxiety, social isolation, and “challenging times” for about nine months now. And even though I still enjoy reading, writing, and talking about sex, I haven’t been up to actually having any.

Until this morning.

I often sleep in on the weekend while H tends to wake up around 5 or 6 in the morning and take a nap later if he’s tired. …

Bring her climax to a whole new level

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by VitalkiRadko on Depositphotos

I’ve been having sex with the same man for over a decade. And as most every long-haul couple can attest to, sex in a committed relationship has its ups and downs. As inherently imperfect partners, we all experience bouts of lovemaking that are stale, lazy, and just…not that great.

But I recently had some of the hottest sex ever with my husband.

My orgasm was longer, more intense, and it soaked the couch (and his face) because he made me squirt.

It’s not very often that I experience a squirting orgasm, but when I do, it’s an incredibly powerful, mind-altering climax. …

When aggressive misinformation-spreaders in your family start affecting your relationship

Image for post
Image for post
Image by ijmaki from Pixabay

My husband and I had a blow-out argument about his family after visiting them over Thanksgiving. Talk about a way to celebrate gratitude.

His parents love Trump. They eat up every word he says. They want to stop the steal. They also won’t wear a mask in a store because masks make people sick. (And where they live, they don’t get kicked out for it either.)

All these things came up in our argument in the car. I cried a lot while we debated because I was furious (I’m one of those gals where yes, tears can mean I feel hurt, but they are often, for some reason, the main visual signifier of my WRATH and FURY). …

Kinky fun for bondage beginners and erotic experts

Image for post
Image for post
Image by Екатерина Александровна from Pixabay

When my husband and I were dating, he learned early on that I was sexually submissive. My heart sped up and my arousal intensified if he did something as simple as pin my wrists above my head in one of his large hands during sex.

When we first started venturing into the use of bondage toys in our love-making, we started small. Ties and scarves. Then handcuffs. Then, we tried out something that took our kinky exploration of BDSM to a whole new level: an under-the-bed restraint system.

With this kind of restraint, both the wrists and ankles can be easily cuffed at the top and bottom of the mattress. The first time we used them, my hubby had adjusted the straps so that my limbs stretched out wide, reaching toward all four corners of our mattress. …

Some people are good at masking their manipulation

Image for post
Image for post
Featured image by Anastasia Gepp from Pixabay

As kids and teens, friendship is an important part of learning who we are. Our social circle enables us to become independent from our parents, learn more about ourselves, and challenge the thoughts and beliefs we were brought up with.

As adults, friendship is still crucial, but for different reasons. While we go on to develop careers and form families, we may not have as much time to spend with friends as we’d like, but we still need them for emotional support, a shoulder to cry on, making us laugh, and relieving stress.

Friends also help us see that giving friendship is as beneficial to our health and happiness as getting it. …

I have a few suggestions…

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Ferdinand studio on Unsplash

I don’t say this to offend any of my penis-owning friends, but — writing about semen in a sensual, erotic way can be a huge challenge.

Ejaculate. Splooge. Jism. Spunk. Baby batter. Clam sauce…The colorful language possibilities are seemingly endless, but the sexy factor just isn’t there for most of them.

And then there’s come or cum (both spellings in noun form are perfectly acceptable — see?).

Image for post
Image for post
Screenshot by Author from Oxford Languages

But, whatever a sex blogger like me decides to call it during her many, many uses of the word, one thing’s for certain — I have plenty of opinions of where I’d like a gentleman to come when we’re making love. …

Give it your all, because we’re quietly taking notes…

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by iancucristi on depositphotos

All writers make observations.

It’s one of the most important foundations of the job. We pay attention, observe, and reflect on how our observations make us feel. Then we write it down, cut out the crap, and release our newborn word-baby into the world.

The best writers pay really close attention to their experiences. And we love to use the knowledge we gain from human interactions as inspiration for our creative endeavors.

Whether we write fiction or non-fiction, when we share stories, our lived experiences influence not only what we write, but how we angle it.

And if we write about sex…well, just look out! …

Dressing for sex can be a much-needed break from the routine — and it doesn’t have to break the bank

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha

I have a fetish for lingerie.

I love the look of an itty bitty nightdress or the shaping power of a sexy corset. I get turned on by the feel of silky smooth stockings and garters. And the way lingerie highlights the curve of my breasts, thighs, and ass can take me from zero body confidence to feeling like a sex goddess.

There’s, of course, something to be said for ripping each other’s clothes off and going at it bare-ass naked, but sometimes the naked-only thing can get a little same-old.

Lingerie is a good way to help a couple break the routine. Taking the time to prepare for sex — to put actual effort into things like music, candles, twinkle lights, champagne, and a sexy outfit — can make sex seem like more of a special occasion. …

I was convinced I’d committed an unforgivable sin

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Manuel Inglez on Unsplash

When I was 7 years old, I went next door to play with my neighbor in her backyard. We were always in each other’s backyard, playing as much as possible. Lexie was 9, with a strong personality. Between us, she was the worldly and wise one. And she wasn’t afraid to remind me that she was the gal in charge.

Despite the fact that we’d argue here and there, I had a lot of fun with her. We were at each other’s houses constantly, and both of our parents were used to having an extra kid around.

We grew up together, doing everything kids do. Playing dress-up. Running races. Creating sidewalk chalk masterpieces. Going on backyard excursions and pretending we were exploring the jungle. …


Holly Bradshaw

Curious creature, pursuer of passion, unbeliever in limiting or lengthy bios. Email me at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store