The Fear of Being Judged By Others

I’ll never forget watching Dior and I. Have you seen it? It tells the story of Fashion Designer Raf Simons’ premiere couture collection at the House of Christian Dior back when he worked for them. I was surprised and equally inspired by Simons background , he doesn’t know how to sketch his designs and at that time, didn’t speak a lot of French . You would have thought that drawing and knowing French would have really mattered to get a job at the most influential fashion house in the world.

The goal for Simons was simply to communicate his vision in whichever way he could — translators, collages on walls, tears from books, broken French, French and English combined, mood boards, facial expressions, hand gestures… Even tears. Whatever worked, he often communicated more without words than with. His body language and facial expressions spoke volumes.

While I’ve never been called egotistical, I’ve definitely held myself back at times when I felt “not good enough” at something. I was afraid of judgement so I didn’t even try. How sad. Putting ego aside, tasks become so much more enjoyable and the perk is, you learn faster. I agree with this more each day, to sometimes place the ego aside, and just let your heart take you. Like Simons. His goal was more important than how he intended to get there. Whatever worked, worked for him. The goal was fixed.

When I’ve followed my inner light and placed ego and fear of judgement aside and jumped, I generally have had the most fun and found the most success. I believe that if we really examine what lies beneath our fear of judgement, often it’s a deep-seated desire to be seen as great at everything. It’s ego.

Another great thing about following your inner truth, or voice, or light, is that you attract the right people to you and friends who really love you for who you are.

Back to the film and my takeaway because there was a great nugget in that film that I have consistently thought of ever since watching the film. In one scene, Simons’ was being interviewed and asked about his work in ready to wear Men’s fashion and it was brought up how much of a minimalist he is and that the general judgement was that he wouldn’t fit the House of Dior with such a minimalist aesthetic. Their was a lot of outside criticism. He sheepishly grinned and simply replied that those people need to wait until his first show, then they could judge him.

He would do the work first regardless of judgement because he ultimately seems to believe that people only have a right to their opinion once he had actually performed the work and they’d seen it.

When gorgeous dresses emerged alongside walls of fresh flowers at his show, it was evident that those who pre-judged him as being a wrong fit for Dior were wrong. It was also clear that judgement from others’ didn’t cause him to compromise his vision or to let it stop him from sharing it. He didn’t give a shit.

We all need to work at becoming a bit more unstoppable don’t we? To give a shit a lot less. To just go for stuff and stop worrying about what others may think. Do the work first.

Most people out there that I’ve met who have had success aren’t consumed by fear of judgement. Sure, there is always this fear of failing or looking stupid, we are human, but the fear of NOT trying and giving up on dreams has to be a stronger fear.

The fear of being judged can never be so strong that you don’t bother trying. Put the work out there first. Most of the time there was nothing to fear after the work is put forward. In fact, your next work may be the most successful project you’ve ever done.

Instead of fearing judgement, fear not trying in the first place.

Note: This was in part previously published on decor8.