These are a Few of My Favorite Rejections
or Why I Both Love and Hate Personal Rejection Letters with the Firey Passion of a Thousand Suns
This is a love letter to all the editors who’ve rejected me over the years. I’m not talking about the ones who sent prim, proper little epistles — those haiku-like form letters that read “thanks, but no thanks,” and then blithely request that you buy something, please. These are most often shortly followed by an email informing me that they’ve added me to their email list. Because of course, I’ll want to know who DID get accepted if it wasn’t me, right?
No, I am referring, of course, to the editors who sent me a bright beam of light-shaped hope in the form of the coveted personal rejection.
Let me tell you, dear editors who send personal rejections, I love you and I hate you. IF MY PIECE WAS SO GOOD WHY DIDN’T YOU WANT IT? WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME WITH YOUR KINDNESS? Every writer loathes rejection letters. They’re a part of the game. They keep us tied to our email. And yes, I understand that personal rejections are a GOOD thing. The problem is, I’ve managed to amass a quite astounding number of them. And they do seem more painful than normal rejections. They are bittersweet. Some are quite fascinating, most are cunningly painful to read.
So of course, I will now share them with you:
I know in my heart of hearts that many editors write such nice rejections because on the other end they’re worried they will encounter a jerk. Some guy who reads their nice little form letter and decides, THIS IS WAR. HOW DARE THEY REJECT ME, DICK PICS INCOMING. So I do appreciate these nice missives, really. The sarcasm is from a place of detached self-deprecation. (But really, that last one was a doozy. I had to include it.)
I hope you enjoyed this foray into the not-quite-right, almost-but-no world I inhabit as a writer. New writers, dearest hearts, I can only dream you will one day you too will have the joy-pain of receiving such kind words from an editor. Or better yet, an acceptance.