Why Today’s Feminists Don’t Really Want to Stop Sexual Assault

Or, the increasing infantilization of American college campuses.

In an attempt to reduce the number of campus sexual assault claims, Stanford University has decided to ban any hard alcohol (even for those legally old enough to drink) at on-campus parties for the foreseeable future. Stanford, a private University, has every right to enact their own policies in this manner, and if an alcohol ban actually does decrease sexual assault claims, then credit where credit is due for the decision.

But, I stress sexual assault claims and not actual assaults because a) the crazy “one in four” claim that college students are sexually assaulted is completely false and b) more and more colleges have set up campus tribunals that work outside the law and punish the accused with little to no evidence of wrongdoing, rather than letting actual law enforcement investigate rape claims. That’s not to say rape doesn’t exist, it does indeed, and the actual offenders ought to be dealt with in the court of law should they be found guilty by a jury of their peers.

But going back to their hard alcohol ban, Stanford also released a helpful “Alcohol-Education” website that relayed factual observations based on research so that women can avoid situations that might put them in a dangerous situation. Advice like:

“A woman will get drunk faster than a man consuming the same amount of alcohol…
Optimize the positive effects of alcohol and avoid negative consequences…
Individuals who are even a little intoxicated are more likely to be victimized than those who are not drinking.”

And feminists lost their minds!

Because it turns out that the truth hurts too much. Yes, it is a scientific fact that women, by nature, process alcohol differently than men and therefore get drunk faster. It is, of course, common sense that one would want to “optimize the positive effects of alcohol” like social lubrication at a new college, while also trying to “avoid negative consequences” like actual sexual assault, perhaps? Of course we know this!

Yet, feminists see “no duh” advice like that as a swipe against them as if they were being told they shouldn’t have worn such a short skirt. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that the skirt length could impair one’s ability to make decisions and operate a motor vehicle. Obviously, the two are not similar. But feminists don’t actually care about stopping rape because they complained to get this “sexist” website taken down. In its place, Stanford posted a standard “alcohol is bad” page that reads like an asbestos warning at a Southern California apartment.

Today’s feminists care more about wielding power as a “marginalized group.” After all, victimhood is the name of the game these days, don’t you know? They need the strong, male patriarchy to watch over them and punish anyone they feel isn’t sufficiently gung-ho about their cause or looks at them wrongly, or breathes the same air as them, or has a penis, etc.

California already follows the asinine “Yes means Yes” positive consent rules on college campuses, which do not actually serve to reduce sexual assault, but instead, mission-creep against the American ideal of “innocent until proven guilty.” And now, an intimate encounter between two students has become more cumbersome than reading an iTunes update user agreement with both students needing documented positive verbal or written consent in order to continue their dalliance. Ah, if only to be a fly on the wall during those “negotiations:”

“Girl: You bought me flowers? Aww, that’s so romantic!
Guy: Yeah, and look, I also got us matching heart-shaped pens to sign our requisite paperwork.
Girl: Ravish me!
Guy: Does that count as a verbal consent?
[checks iPhone to make sure voice recorder picked it all up]”

Between the hard alcohol ban and the many safe spaces and trigger warnings around the nation’s campuses, is it no wonder we’re turning into what Clint Eastwood astutely referred to as the “Pussy Generation.” Yes, young Millennials are morphing into the Infant Generation: one that increasingly requires Big Daddy Government to step in and kiss of our boo-boos (with consent, of course) and make it all better.

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