The Secret No One Knows

There is a secret that no one knows. Or maybe its truer to say that not everyone knows. And maybe its better that not everyone knows. At least until those who do not yet know, do not care when they do know. Or at least not as much as they would if they were to know now.

I am never without you. Fact! Yep, I can pack you in to my every act, my every thought. Even in my dreams, if I can add last night as a triple x reference, yep, even in my dreams.

If it is not of you, its about you, it is with you, leading to you. And most of all I can feel you. I can feel you through the love, because of the love. The love has become stronger, bigger, more amazing, and so the more I feel. Mostly. When I don’t doubt, I can. Clearly.

But there are some for whom it is not a secret. They see, even if they don’t know what, and they feel, even if they don’t know why. And its strong, not just for us, but strong enough for them to be drawn to it. To announce that they have seen it and felt it and are happier, and even proud, thanks to it. For them, for a moment, its not a secret.

But is that the reason why it’s a secret? Because of the love? Because of the magic? Who would believe that I can feel you and you can feel me? Who would believe? It isn’t the something you write and tell your Mum about? Or is it if I already have and she has and we have to each others, Mums. And will that secret remain a secret even when the secrets out? Will we be able to show the magic that we feel?

For all of it that is crazy, fun, super fucking happy, rarely but sometimes painful or sad, I don’t want a world without you in it. I don’t. And that’s not a “wouldn’t it be nice”…. That’s a “fight with all my might”… don’t want a world without you in it.

I can feel your heart and hear your head and when its comes together its your pain. And I feel that too. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes not. Sometimes its Sunday.

I long for the day when the secrets out, at least the secret that means I can shout it out, loud, that I love you. And locked away with the secret is the freedom. The big and scary, be free, be happy, be loved like you have never been loved before, freedom. A that too we will have, once the secrets out.

The secret no one knows