Are You In Love or Are You In Attachment?

Holy Bilal
3 min readApr 3, 2023

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Love and attachment are two complex emotions that can often be difficult to differentiate. While both emotions involve a strong bond and connection with another person, there are some key differences between the two.

Attachment is often based on a sense of familiarity and comfort with another person. This type of emotional bond can develop over time through shared experiences, trust, and dependence on one another. Attachment can be seen in a variety of relationships, including friendships, family members, and romantic partners.

While attachment can provide a sense of comfort and security in relationships, there are some potential problems associated with attachment, particularly when it becomes too intense or one-sided.

One problem with attachment is that it can lead to clinginess or dependence on the other person. When one person in a relationship becomes too attached, they may rely too heavily on their partner for emotional support, and may become overly possessive or jealous. This can lead to tension and conflict in the relationship, and may ultimately drive the other person away.

Another problem with attachment is that it can prevent personal growth and development. When a person becomes too attached to another person, they may begin to prioritize the other person’s needs and desires over their own. This can lead to a loss of independence and a lack of personal fulfillment, as the person may struggle to pursue their own goals and interests.

Attachment can be problematic if it is based on unhealthy patterns or behaviors. For example, if a person has a history of abusive relationships, they may be more likely to become attached to partners who are similarly abusive or neglectful. In these cases, attachment can lead to a cycle of negative experiences and trauma that can be difficult to break out of.

In contrast, love often involves a deeper emotional connection that goes beyond mere familiarity and comfort. Love is often characterized by a strong desire to be with the other person, a sense of passion, and a willingness to make sacrifices for their happiness. Love can also involve intense feelings of happiness, joy, and excitement when thinking about the other person.

One way to differentiate between attachment and love is to ask yourself whether your feelings for the other person are based on their individual qualities or simply the fact that they are present in your life. If your feelings are primarily based on the person’s qualities and personality, you may be experiencing love. If your feelings are more focused on the comfort and familiarity that comes with being around them, you may be experiencing attachment.

Another way to differentiate between attachment and love is to examine how you feel when you are away from the other person. If you feel a strong sense of longing and desire to be with the other person, even when you are apart, you may be experiencing love. If you feel more anxious or uneasy when you are away from the other person, you may be experiencing attachment.

It is important to note that attachment and love are not mutually exclusive emotions. It is possible to experience both attachment and love for the same person, and these emotions can sometimes overlap and influence one another.

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Holy Bilal

Selfies of Soul: Revelling in the Rebellious Mind of a Modern Divergent.