22.

22 is the exact number.

the exact number of failed suicide attempts i have on my record.

the exact number of times i’ve been threatened to be thrown into a mental hospital.

the exact number of times my dad has told me i was so selfish to try to off myself.

the exact number of times i’ve told to mother that i would get better, and let her down.

22 was my number.

and as of tonight, at 6:28 pm, its 23.

23 futile attempts to end my life.

23 nights spent wondering why i wasn’t good enough for anyone on this earth.

23 times i’ve been rejected by death.

but 23 more chances ive been given.

to meet wonderful people, to live the life fate has planned out for me.

and the chance for number 24.

(10:51pm)
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