An open letter to Jamaal Charles and Adrian Peterson, formerly of the Kansas City Chiefs and the Minnesota Vikings

About eight years ago I graduated college and started an entry level client services job in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I quickly picked up the cube farm culture, the finer intricacies of economics jargon, and, most importantly, how to beat my new coworkers at fantasy football. I joined a league in hopes of making friends by showing off my sports chops, but it didn’t take long for me to get hooked. I threw myself into lengthy Matthew Berry articles, obsessed over the waiver wire and absorbed every Red Zone moment every Sunday. I drafted both of you in multiple seasons. Sometimes it was a tough first round choice, sometimes one of you had a torn ACL or a pending lawsuit and that made the choice clearer.

My second season I was crowned champion and subsequently received the wad of cash amounting to $200. That season my team (aptly named “Corn on the Kolb” after the wildly unsuccessful Eagle’s quarterback) was backed by Jamaal’s insane breakout season of 1,467 yards rushing. A few years later, I drafted AP and witnessed a high scoring game at the pre-collapsed Metrodome in Minneapolis. I’ve since won a few more championships, and I want to thank you both for your contribution to the success of my fantasy teams over the years. It hasn’t always been a smooth ride, but I will always cherish the days where I knew I could count on monster performances from you both.

My first championship.