No time? No money? No idea where to start?
Here’s How to Build Success
“Did you know New Jersey has the highest rate of autism in the country?”
I didn’t.
The woman standing next to me, and the people next to her didn’t either. We all wore that look of shock — raised eyebrows, wide deer-in-the-headlights eyes, gaping mouth. You know the look.
“If all of you could see what you look like! That’s what everyone looks like when I tell them that,” the woman barreled on, pressing her promotional brochure for her autism nonprofit organization in our hands. She swept on with her personal story which made it on national news, thank you very much, and how unChristian it was that the general public was more interested in the Kardashians and not her cause which, in her opinion, deserved far more support from people like all of us, now shifting uncomfortably towards the door, who could easily atone for that by simply buying a ticket to her upcoming awareness/fundraiser/extravaganza/gala event next month.
“I am sure you do great work,” I murmured. We all nodded our heads vigorously.
“It’s me and 2 volunteers killing ourselves every day.for this cause. We need more help, more grants, more staff…” she threw her hands up in the air. “Where do I even start?
What really happens
Put a group of people with passion projects, start ups, small nonprofits struggling to survive, in a room with funders and you would think that some great things could happen. All that synergy. All that desire to make the world a better place. All in one place.
There are many opportunities like this for creative thinkers and artists to be in rooms with the kinds of people they want to be with. People who are potential supporters. People who will give you their time. People who will love your work.
Getting into the room is a big step. Congratulations!
It sends a message that you think enough of yourself and what you do to be there. People will remember you as a real person, someone they actually talked to. Having that personal connection puts you way ahead of the stack of applications sitting on their desk.
You can’t play the game unless you have the clubs
It’s like getting into the golf club. But getting on the golf course won’t get you anywhere if you don’t have the right clubs. And, most important of all, you have to know how to play the game.
Here’s a tip: Being fun to be with in the golf cart is better than being a good golfer.
Which brings me to what is the best way to get in the game of getting people to care about what you do.
What people listen for
People are curious creatures.
They often behave like lizards with their eyes darting towards the next shiny thing. This means they have a short attention span and that their curiosity is easily hijacked.
How do you keep someone’s focus on what you are saying?
Attention, like respect, is earned.
What people pay attention to are things they care about.
This may not be what you care about. Or what you are talking about.
“How am I supposed to know that about someone I just met?” asked a young man. He was about to talk about what his ministry does for young children in economically depressed neighborhoods. “Shouldn’t I be telling them what I do?”
Actually, no.
He is better off saying what he believes in.
Then he needs to do is listen.
Then ask.
Here’s a question that never fails to cut to the chase and one that people love to answer:
“What do you care about?”
Why this matters
The Joan of Arc of autism blinked.
The young minister stared.
I smiled.
First of all, it is an unexpected question. You have now changed your position to the one in charge of the conversation. You are curious about me.
Second, it is not a common question. People don’t get asked about what they care about often enough, which is too bad because these would be much deeper and more interesting conversations.
Finally, it will reveal something valuable. You will learn something that will connect you immediately with another person on an emotional leveI.
This shows that you are confident. It also shows that you respect the other person and what engages their passion. By establishing this, you have become more than the next person in line to plead your case to a funder. You have created a base of a relationship.
I, like many people, will gladly tell you what I care about, and boom, you have my full attention. Now I am curious about you.
Do this
This is the simplest way to build the relationships that build your success.
Ask a better question.
