Apparently, the better I get health wise, and further down my road to recovery the poorer my writing gets. Well this is what I have been led to assume as I have lost half of my not so loyal readers! As if I am not going through enough, I’m now dealing with the absolute heartbreak of my blogs failure. Lord give me a break will you!? I’m partly to blame, I know! When I went part time with it I obviously sacrificed with that about 500 readers. I’ve had thoughts of packing it in all together but thought I couldn’t turn my back on my remaining 500!
I am writing this from the Radiotherapy waiting room, waiting to go into my 14th session which means I am still not half way there! But nearly! 19 more to go….. The way it works here is you all sit in a communal waiting room until you get called through and when you do, you get walked down a corridor to another waiting room closest to which ever machine you are being treated on on that day. Today I am on machine E and in our waiting room is just myself and another man waiting to be treated. Said man is sitting with his solicitor writing his will…. Which is cheerful. Motivational Monday’s down here in the radiotherapy basement! At least the sun is shining.
Side effects, as promised are accumulating and getting progressively worse. My mouth is in bits. To elaborate, the inside of my gums, tongue and the back of my throat are sore and feel burnt. I said to my friend Jo that it feels like I’ve been gargling boiling water, she double checked I haven’t been and I said not that I could recall so we concluded it must be from the radio therapy.
When I was here on Thursday, as they were putting the mask on me, the pretty Irish nurse asked me if I had lost weight. Feeling flattered she had noticed my efforts I said yes I hope so… boy did I feel ignorant. She then proceeded to tell me off as if I lose weight then the mask no longer fits as tight and as a result they are not able to treat me as accurately as they need to and also as safely as they try to. I then had to wait to be seen by the dietician and her team while they spoke to me sympathetically about trying my best to eat regularly and ways to keep my calorie count up, them thinking the weight loss was down to side effects of radiotherapy. I was too shamed to tell them that I was perfectly capable of eating still but that I was watching what I eat as I’m going on holiday once all this is done and need to be bikini-body ready. Priorities! I’m an idiot. However, life is great when the pressure is on to NOT lose weight, it’s almost as keeping the pounds on is saving my life, if you want to be melodramatic… which I do!
Good old grandad is back on the roads again so I’ve given him back the chauffeur hat and he is back to being my designated driver…. But before we set off in the morning, does he have everything he needs for the journey??
When I got home from radiotherapy today I was in the kitchen where my dad had left his phone. It started ringing and when I looked to see who it was I recognised the number, it was the Children With Cancer charity, as they have been calling him a lot lately trying to get him to up his monthly donation to them. I didn’t pick up but I shouted up to him ‘Dad, children with cancer is calling’, he shouted back ‘Tell ‘em no thanks, already got one!’….. We laughed!
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