Paper Knickers

As promised, I said i’d try to blog more frequently again and here I am delivering. Twice so far this week you spoilt readers, you! I was looking back at some of my old posts this evening (clearly I am bored) and I realised hadn’t numbered which day I am on in a while so I counted (seriously, really bored) and it is now day 77!! Where has the time gone?

Monday I spent the best part of the day at Westfield, shopping. Suprise suprise. We actually went to find Tracy something to wear this time to be fair. I am very reluctant to ever admitting to feeling tired, all my family members now know to NEVER ask that question ‘Are you tired love?’. It results in a deadly look from me and causes my anger levels to peak! Some people who think they are clever, not naming any names Tracy, think they have found ways of disguising the question in conversations or rewording it. Ain’t nobody fooling me! Anyway, my point of mentioning this is as on Monday whilst shopping, I had to succumb to my feelings. After holding in yawns all day and wiping away tears from my weeping, tired, stinging eyes, I had to hold my hands up and say ‘Mum, i’m really tired, I need to go home’. She told me she could tell I was really tired and said ‘Let’s go’. Nobody likes a know it all! I was worried that monday was a sign of things to come and my luck of feeling fairly good and energised were over but luckily after a good nights sleep, I woke up feeling refreshed and fine again. It must have been down to my big, boozy night out sunday… 2 glasses of wine with my mum and dad at the neighbours house.

Today I had a bit of a pamper day. I went over to my cousin Lynsey’s house and before going out for ANOTHER brunch, she took me to her hairdressers (talk about rub salt in the wound). She bought me an eye-brow stencil kit that they sold in there. I think this is her way of telling me that I could really do with some help in that department. I am pretty bad at the drawing on process, with one eye normally looking shocked and the other frowning. I also got my nails done by the lovely Kelly.

Being the palest I have ever been, I was seriously in need of some sort of tan. With no holidays in sight and apparently sun beds now out of the question I booked myself in for a St Tropez tan. Not a spray tan, but a full body scrub tan. So as I arrived for my treatment, I was asked to fill out a quick health assessment form. I can no longer whizz through them ticking ‘no’ to every question. Have you recently had surgery? Are you on any medication? Do you have any serious health conditions? I was tempted to add in the ‘other comments’ that we should try focusing on some of my good points rather than all the negatives!

Anyway, once I told the lady about my current situation, she said she didn’t think it was a good idea to go ahead with the tan! My heart sank! It was up there in my top 2 heart sinking moments. Number 2 being the 15th of December when I was first diagnosed. I looked at her with desperation saying that she had to help me out. That if she turned me away, she’d drive me back in to the arms of sunbeds, did she really want that on her conscience?? After I showed her some google results of how there is nothing to say that you shouldn’t and she referred to St Tropez user guide/manual she agreed to do it! Clearly there is a God. So she threw me a pair of paper knickers and told me to lay on my front.

Once this initial hurdle was over come, we had a lovely time. As she rubbed smelly brown tan all over me, it was as intimate as i’d been with anyone since… well since Back-pack I guess. She obviously felt it too as she then opened up to me about her very recent cancer news. Being the wise old owl I now am, 77 days into my journey, I shared some of my finest insight and advice with her.

When chemo meets Essex

Hope you’re all having a good week.



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