So turns out day 4 was tracksuit day! How I felt on day 4 was a good reflection of how I looked on day 3, in the dreaded tracksuit. As I woke up and got myself out of bed, it didn’t take long to realise that that the effects had started. So I opted for denial…. I laid myself back in bed where I couldn’t tell whether I felt weak or not and pretended I just fancied a nice long lay in, and I wasn’t doing so because I didn’t feel capable of doing more… Totally could have if I wanted to. I got off to such a rubbish start this morning that I almost couldn’t be bothered to get my laptop out and send out my blog, but I couldn’t do that to you guys! Could not let you too be the victims of chemotherapy!
Anyway, the morning was spent drifting in and out of sleep, not having a clue what to do with myself, if it wasn’t for another hospital appointment at 4pm, i’m not sure i’d have gotten out of bed at all. And thats bad, kids! Bad for morale, bad for keeping spirits up. When I did eventually get myself up, the nausea kicked in, but I put that to bed immediately and upped my anti-sickness tablet dose. Once showered, hair done and a bit of make-up on, I realised the importance of getting yourself up and being presentable everyday! Made a big difference in how I felt. Plus, showering is so much fun when you have to wear a big plastic sleeve to protect your PICC line, not to mention looks great!
Driven to London by my very own chauffeur/amazing dad Phil, we arrived at the hospital only 10 minutes early, as apposed to an hour and a half early as we have done for almost every other appointment! Very traffic conscience is Phil. So the appointment was for another MRI scan of the head and neck, just for an up to date picture of whats going on in there since the operation. This is probably my 5th MRI since October, but not one has been on the same MRI machine, i’m an MRI whore! In I go, lay myself down on the little bed and then get conveyed inside the machine. I’m normally on it for about half an hour, and is a great source of alone time for me and regardless of how noisy they are, I usually fit in a little nap. But as usual, in-between each of the different scans they do, the kind nurse checks over the little microphone whether i’m ok and tells me that i’m doing a great job. I find my emotions torn in two when this happens. One half of me wants to tell her to shut the f*ck up and let me nap, but the other half is melting in the pleasure of being told I’m doing a great job! I do love to do a great job!
I later arrived home to find yet another gift, which was a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a balloon and a teddybear (the latter will help with the lonely nights since Backpack). I tell you now, sometimes it’s hard to determine whether the pros outweigh the cons in all this. Constant supply of beautiful flowers, always got a nice ballon floating around in my room these days, i’ve had boots, i’ve had bags, i’ve had jewellery…. Of course i’d give them all back in a flash for a clean bill of health! Maybe not the boots, i’d have to negotiate on the boots!
In other news, i’ve been thinking that I may have to make this blog less of a daily thing and maybe post every couple of days or something. ‘NO, NO, BUY WHY??’ I hear you all scream! Well I just can’t promise i’m going to have the material to produce one everyday, as somedays may consist of just sleep and vomiting…. Not sure how i’d manage to put a positive, witty twist on that! But anyway, just a thought at the moment, nothing is set in stone so please no-one get their knickers in a twist just yet.
Another day done, crossed off the calendar! The road ahead is long, and as a friend told me who has been here and done this, it is a marathon, not a sprint. So one day at a time. Thanks for all the love and support you have all shown me so far through, sharing, following and all the messages i’ve received.
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