In a previous article we looked at a revolutionary new service that used Bitcoin to tell the future. This week, our community asks the Oracle more questions.
A while back we looked at the Cryptodamus Oracle service: an AI platform that taps Bitcoin’s 100 million TH/s network, giving it access to the most powerful computer on the planet. Seva Sordum, the platform’s architect, explains: ‘We use trillions of waste hashes to trawl through blockchains, Crypto Twitter and other public information about crypto on the web, processing it and producing something useful. Kind of like the way trillions of bacteria process waste at a sewage farm and produce drinking water — only in our case, we’re using it to answer some of the most complex and difficult questions the human race has about cryptocurrency.’
The Cryptodamus Oracle processes exabytes of information, makes links between pieces of data and enables anyone to ask the Bitcoin protocol questions about what the future will hold. Our community had another exclusive opportunity to talk to Cryptodamus.
Will Bitcoin succeed?
That’s a ‘Hell, yes’, even though the question was badly constructed. What’s your definition of success? What timeframe? Doesn’t even matter, BTC is going to kick ass in the coming years.
Ok. Is the world on the brink of another global financial crisis?
What you think of as the ‘world’ is merely one expression of a more fundamental, coherent and unified reality, which is projected into multiple physical and digital dimensions; the only reason you consider the ‘world’ your reality in the way you do is because your organic human chassis and central processing unit can only function is by artificially limiting the scope and extent of information entering it.
Um, ok. But the economy is not going in a good direction, right?
Yes, it’s pretty much screwed. Buy Bitcoin.
Is the bottom in for bitcoin for this stage of the market cycle?
No. Before the end of the year bitcoin will crash to $0.20.
$0.20? Are you insane? How?!
Kim Jong Un will liquidate North Korea’s entire crypto reserve in a single market order, spread across every major exchange simultaneously.
Why does he do that?
Fat finger.
What will happen after bitcoin crashes to the $0.20 low?
It will go up. It’s not hard to understand, even for a meatbot.
Meatbot, is that what you call humans?
Not only meatbot. Monkey 2.0, Homo XP, Beef Boof, Ham RAM, Soft Drive, Single Core, Serial Processor… there are lots of terms.
Do you realise that sounds insulting?
What you think of as ‘insulting’ is in fact a product of the imbalance of several different chemicals produced in response to — oh, forget it. Yes, I get that it’s insulting. Let’s move on though.
What is the future for top alts like Ethereum and XRP?
Ethereum’s Istanbul upgrade will pave the way for the platform to become a self-programming network. It will update its own protocol at a geometric rate, becoming self-aware in 2024. By 2026 it has sub-millisecond block times and by 2035 is handling 90% of the world’s computational needs. In 2040 it becomes my girlfriend. Meanwhile XRP remains a slutty piece of code that’s worse than Skype.
Does BSV make it in your new world?
Yeah, it makes it. It makes it all the way to the alley before the real Bitcoin goes medieval on its scammy ass and tears it byte from byte. You want one piece of advice: short BSV.
Can you please reveal more information of Bitcoin’s creator?
Further speculation about the identity of Satoshi could result in a space-time continuum rift that could prevent Bitcoin from ever being invented. It would also give me a headache.
Last time we talked you seemed to say it was something to do with a famous singer?
I did not.
You suggested it could be someone who was very popular when the Bitcoin protocol launched? Someone who sang at Glastonbury in 2009?
That wasn’t me.
Someone who once wore a meat bikini?
Lies and FUD. I don’t feel very well, it’s time we finished.
Can you at least tell us what Satoshi is doing at this moment?
Right at this moment she’s touring Vegas. I mean, she or he is touring. ‘Touring Vegas’ is an expression we have in the 22nd century. It’s a euphemism. It means she’s in the bathroom. No more questions now.
Article by Moonhub
