You Are Enough

Some people are like leaves on a tree. When the wind blows, they’re over there… wind blow that way they over here… they’re unstable. When the seasons change they wither and die, they’re gone. That’s alright. Most people are like that, they’re not there to do anything but take from the tree and give shade every now and then. That’s all they can do.

Some people are like a branch on that tree. You have to be careful with those branches too, cause they’ll fool you. They’ll make you think they’re a good friend and they’re real strong but the minute you step out there on them, they’ll break and leave you high and dry.

But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that’s like the roots at the bottom of that tree… you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that aren’t going nowhere. They aren’t worried about being seen, nobody has to know that they know you, they don’t have to know what they’re doing for you but if those roots weren’t there, that tree couldn’t live .

A tree could have a hundred million branches but it only takes a few roots down at the bottom to make sure that tree gets everything it needs. When you get some roots, hold on to them but the rest of it… just let it go.

I have always felt that my life is full of branches. Momentary people. People who will drift away in seconds. I’ve never lived in such a way that I could rely on anyone to be a root in my life. Forever people simply did not exist for me.

The last two year have changed those beliefs.

This girl right here — take a good look, you’ll see her face again on some Broadway billboard, in the program of a play(if it’s a musical, Hell has frozen over so run for the hills), or maybe even on stage accepting some theatrical award.

She’s brilliant.

She’s a root in my life. Integral to my being. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her in one way or another. Whether I’ve found some funny meme or something soul shatteringly beautiful, I’ll think to text her. She shows up when I need her to and even when I don’t. She’s a phone call away, I just need to pick up the damn phone. She matters to me on a deeper level than simply a friend. She’s taught me tough lessons and allowed me to be myself. I’ve hidden within the depths of myself for so long, and she simply refuses to let me stay there.

We often discuss people showing up, crashing for awhile, then leaving. We are both used to it. In the beginning, I used to say “I’ll stay, you can’t get rid of me” because I wanted to prove to her that someone would stay, that she mattered to someone. Then, this feeling became less of a “I have to prove her wrong”. I don’t stay because of anything I need to prove, I stay because she matters so much that my heart wouldn’t be whole, my life a little more dull without her in it.

There are people we want to stay. And there are people we need to stay.

I need her to stay. And I want her to.

I have never cared about the people staying or leaving. The feelings were the same. One comes in, another leaves. Same story, different day. However, she is different. I’d care if she left. I’d care if she walked away. She would matter.

Jasmine,

You matter. You take up a space in my life that I give freely to you. Years down the line I won’t have to think about past memories, wipe my tears, and remember the good times. I’ll pick up the phone and tell you to meet me at 6:00pm for drinks and laughs. I’ll go to your show. I’ll stand up, clap, and have an appreciation for the arts more and more with each sitting. I won’t wonder what ‘that girl’ did with her life. I’ll just hop in the car. Get on a plane. Whatever.

I'll knock on the door.

And you’ll answer.

You are not forgettable. I would never imagine trying.

You’re a root. Integral to my being. Part of the reason I can love freely and openly and wholly.

You matter.

My life is happier with you in it. I guess you’re stuck.