Beating Depleted Mother Syndrome: 6 Tips for Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Howell Virtual
3 min readAug 24, 2023

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The daily demands of motherhood can pile up, pushing moms to the brink of total burnout — otherwise known as depleted mother syndrome. This extreme exhaustion happens when moms give everything they have to their kids and family while neglecting their own basic needs.

The symptoms aren’t pretty — irritability, forgetfulness, guilt, and feeling detached from your kids. But it doesn’t have to be this way. With some intentional focus on your self-care, you can prevent depleted mother syndrome and show up as your best self for your family.

In this post, we’ll explore what depleted mother syndrome looks like and 6 ways you can combat it.

What is Depleted Mother Syndrome?

Depleted mother syndrome refers to the extreme physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that comes specifically from the relentless demands of motherhood without proper recovery time. Unlike typical tiredness, this burnout stems from the unique combination of:

- Physical labor — carrying, feeding, cleaning up after children
- Mental load — planning activities, managing schedules
- Emotional labor — soothing tears, mediating fights, disciplining
- Lack of self-care — Mothers often put their own needs last

Without adequate rest, recovery, and refueling, mothers run on empty. The tank hits zero, and they have nothing left to give.

Signs include overwhelming fatigue, irritability, brain fog, guilt over perceived failures as a mom, and feeling detached from your kids. Depleted moms often rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating, overspending, or scrolling endlessly on their phones to get a quick hit of dopamine.

While modern motherhood comes with relentless demands, depleted mother syndrome doesn’t have to be your fate. With some key self-care practices, you can prevent burnout and thrive in your role as a mother.

6 Tips to Combat Depleted Mother Syndrome

1. Prioritise Restorative Sleep

Lack of sleep is one of the fastest tickets to depleted mother syndrome. Restorative sleep replenishes your mind and body so you can be fully present with your kids when you’re awake. Treat sleep as a non-negotiable in your self-care routine. Go to bed early, limit screen time before bed, and ask your partner to handle any night wakings. You need 7–9 hours per night.

2. Accept Help From Others

The old adage “it takes a village” rings true when it comes to combating depleted mother syndrome. Seek out help with household chores and childcare from your spouse, family members, friends, or professionals to ease the load. Outsource tasks through apps like Instacart or DoorDash or hire a doula, nanny, house cleaner, or virtual assistant. It’s not weak to ask for help — it’s wise.

3. Incorporate Movement

Exercise is a powerful stress reliever and mood booster. Getting your sweat on counteracts the effects of chronic stress from motherhood. Any movement helps — yoga, walking, strength training. Aim for 20–30 minutes of exercise 3–5 times per week. Pairing movement with social interaction gives an added boost. Join a mom’s running group or do YouTube workout videos with a friend over video chat.

4. Set Firm Boundaries

Running on empty often comes from saying “yes” too often and spreading yourself too thin. Start setting firm boundaries around your time and learn to say no. Be fiercely protective of your downtime, whether that’s an hour to read a book or taking a whole weekend off from family obligations to recharge. Your mental health depends on setting and keeping boundaries.

5. Make Self-Care a Daily Priority

Self-care is not selfish — it’s an essential piece of being a good mom. Carve out time each day to refill your cup through restorative activities: take a bubble bath, read a novel, meditate, join a mom’s group, craft, or get a massage. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your needs helps you be fully present for your kids.

6. Outsource Tasks to a Virtual Assistant

One of the most powerful ways to prevent depleted mother syndrome is outsourcing tasks through a virtual assistant (VA). A VA can handle chores, errands, scheduling, paperwork, email management, and more. The right VA becomes an invaluable asset, lightening your mental and physical load. This frees up bandwidth for more rest and self-care.

Motherhood is intensely rewarding but also deeply draining. Depleted mother syndrome happens when moms sacrifice their own needs for too long.

But with a few key self-care habits like prioritizing sleep, exercise, help, boundaries, and outsourcing, you can prevent burnout and thrive in your role as a mother.

You’ll be a happier, healthier, more present mom for your kids when your own cup is full.

You got this mama!

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Howell Virtual

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