I Don’t Want Your Guns

Dear Family, Friends, Political Leaders, and Fellow Americans,

I don’t want your guns. I don’t want to take them. No one wants to take them from you.

Upon hearing news of the most recent shooting, I was, like most, heartbroken. Angry. Confused. Hopeless.

I don’t want your guns.

I truly adore and respect all of you. We’re a passionate country, and in my heart of hearts, I believe we’re also a smart, sensible country.

I don’t want your guns.

This morning I drove to my men’s league baseball game and I listened to the reports on AM radio. It was a mess. People were just in shock. You could tell the broadcasters we’re lost, confused, and probably sick of reporting stories like this.

I don’t want your guns.

I am so positive no one wants to take anyone’s guns, I felt compelled to do the only thing I know how to do: write a post telling anyone who will listen. I don’t want to take your guns. No one does. I/we don’t want them.

I don’t want your guns.

Can we agree things are getting out of hand? Can we start there? I hope so… Yes? Okay. Guess what, there IS GOOD NEWS in all this madness. There is a light, albeit a bleak one, at the end of this bloody tunnel. We can do something to stop this. Most who care about guns are reasonable. If we can exercise some reason in dealing with this, we can improve our lives and the lives of our loved ones and our fellow Americans tenfold.

I don’t want your guns.

My best friend has a gun in his home. Super pumped about that. He’s a smart guy. He’s a sound, logical dude. He means no one any harm who does not mean him or his family harm. I bet my best friend would be willing to take take a test to keep his gun. I bet he’d even be willing to go take a class about guns and how they work, when he renews his privilege to keep his gun. You know, I’d even be willing to say, that he’d agree to a stiff fine and possible jail time if he ever uses that gun in a crime that was not in self-defense.

I don’t want your guns.

Can we start there? Can we agree that only sound, logical dudes or dudettes are allowed to have guns? Can we say that they have to take a class that teaches them about gun safety and how to use their lethal machine they’re purchasing? Can we make them come back every 18ish months and renew that privilege? Hey, if they try to rob a bank or something with their gun, and we can all agree that is UNCOOL, can we charge them with a felony, and make them serve a just punishment?

I don’t want your guns.

I feel like we’re all Cool Hand Lukeing it right now. We’re cool. We get each other. We love each other. We want each other and our families to feel safe. Cool. Super cool. Hey… crazy idea, stay with me here: If there’s a known terrorist on our government’s watch list, can we make sure they are NOT ALLOWED AT ALL TO PURCHASE A GUN?! Bro/Bra, how sick would that be? The sickest. I’d feel sooooo much safer walking around town or sending my kid to school, if I knew that was a thing we could make happen. Wouldn’t you?

I don’t want your guns.

My best friend and me both agreed he didn’t need to keep a semi-automatic weapon in his house or have ANY USE for magazines. No one does really. Unless you’re a cop on on the Swat team. Then like, that’s totally fine and I support that 100%. Use them at work. And guess what?! Even Jeb Bush agrees with me! It’s true. If you go to twitter, he tweeted a picture of his gun. It’s a simple handgun. No magazine. Jeb is a respected man, a political leader and very reasonable guy. Let’s follow his lead! Jeb, m’dude, your gun looked cool! Please keep yourself and family safe with it, bro. And as my grandma would say, “Use it in good health!”

I don’t want your guns!

Now, I know a lot of you hunt. I do not. Not my bag. I play in a men’s baseball league and watch the St. Louis Cardinals religiously. That’s enough for me. But, hey, hunting is a sport. I’m down with that. I get it, but I get that deer populations can get out of hand and there’s a bunch of skill in killing an animal (please tell me you eat all the meat or give it to a homeless shelter or something). But, Friends, do you need a magazine to kill an animal? I don’t believe you do. Where’s the sport in that? Oh, and can we make sure any terrorist on our government’s terrorist list has to prove they’re a hunter? This way they don’t try to trick us or find a loophole to get their hands on a gun. Just wanna weed out the bozos who like to shoot up schools and night clubs. Crazy idea: What if we only hunted with bows and arrows?! Old school style? Just a thought…


Seriously. No one wants your guns. I know some of you think my man, B.O. wants to take your guns away. Let me assure you, POTUS DOES NOT. He would love for you to keep your guns. Plus, where would he put them? Michelle doesn’t want him having all those guns. And they’re moving soon, they just don’t have the room, you guys.

Barack and I don’t want your guns!

And I know some of y’all think, our soon-to-be President Elect HRC wants to take away your guns. Dude. You couldn’t be more wrong. You guys, she is also moving soon, and from what my insiders are telling me, HRC and Bill are going with a modern chic vibe this time around in the White House, so all that metal would totally clash. Mess up the Feng shui.

HRC and I don’t want your guns!

Now, I don’t know Paul Ryan, but I realize he’s a leader on a side (GOP) that I have more quips with than I do agree. However, I’m willing to bet chocolate bars to candy canes that Paul Ryan would agree with me more than he would disagree with what’s in this piece.

Paul and I don’t want your guns!

Reality is, we live in a crazy, scary world. However, we want to live our best lives. We want to pursue our dreams, follow our hearts, fall in love, celebrate our diversity… and we want to do it without living in fear that our life can be taken at any time by someone who decides to shoot up a place. We want to keep our families safe. Let’s have a better mental health system. Let’s watch out for each other. Let’s let our love for our neighbor outweigh our love for $$ from the NRA. There is good news, despite all the bloodshed. We can make this stop. We can demand that it stop. We can. We can. WE WILL! The only way this can happen though is if we DEMAND reasonable gun control laws!!!

I don’t want your guns!

Terrorism is real. And we’re fighting ISIS and the like. But it’s hard to fight terrorists, when we’re literally giving them the weapons to murder us, and at the same time divide us. They’re causing us to take our eye off the ball, when we need to stay focused and unite. We need to put our rally caps on, and come together. It’s the bottom of the 9th. Let’s make some reasonable changes, put some people on base and go out with a walk off home run. Let’s make our lives better. #ReasonableGunLaws

I don’t want to take away your guns. No one does.

I don’t want your guns.
No one wants your guns. 

With Much Hope and ❤,

Howie E. Kremer