but I do

I just couldn’t admit that I missed you. I used to explain things in the other way. Or it’s just better simplify to say: oh, I have a feeling that I need you right now. But no. I can’t say it aloud or you, you with your fucking goodness and feeling of absolutely self-confidence, wanted to hear it?
It’s easier to pretend a naive girl. Probably it would be easier to be really naive. I can’t help thinking about a quote from Great Gatsby in which there’s a sense that for girls it’s better be silly and easy-going. It makes your life cheerful without any heavy thoughts… 
But I knew that my feelings are deeper. In that reason I hate myself.
I can’t tell you that I’m missing but I’ve just got an egoistic feeling to be with you live none of the others.