How to deal with serotonin withdrawal

This year. This fucking year. WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS YEAR HAPPENING.

Sitting on a plane from my trip to Ukraine. I was so excited for this trip. It was horrible. And still, I managed to be so sad going back home. The person I was so so excited to meet there was not the person I thought he was. My coworker ruined every minute of the whole trip and I immediately blocked him everyfuckingwhere the second I got home. I for sure didnt plan the trip through and brought plenty of summer clothes to a country that was fucking cold all the time. Our airbnb apartment sucked, it was dirty and the hosts didnt speak english at all.

So why am I sad?

The experience. I did things I never did before, met this person in my fucking underwear, I was in a country I thought I will never go to, I was in a huge techno club I would NEVER go to, I appeared in a completely random music video for a local artist, fell in love with a local girl, I met crazy international people and did a tour de bar with them, drank beer and I fucking hate beer!

But even though I was so frustrated most of the time, disappointed and ready to go home, Im still listening to my “on my way home” playlist. I guess Im in the love with the “unexpected”. Im in love with not knowing what is going to happen, how is it going to turn out, Im in love with analyzing what strangers think about me, Im in love with looking for a place to eat at 10pm in a city you never been before. Im in love with all the unknown.

I have this one song that I always play on repeat when Im sitting on a airplane back home. It brings memories from every trip, so it makes me feel even worse. And the more I get sad, the better I feel afterwards. So no, you cant deal with serotonin withdrawal. You have to let it go through, until you cry the fuck out of your soul, and after that, you experience this feeling of a really weird happiness. A “its done, so now lets see if I can make my life even crazier” type of happiness. Try it.

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