I’m having a baby in 2 years
& it’s already freaking me the fuck out
Seriously, how do people do it? Today my partner mentioned to me that there is a supplement you can take for healthy sperm. I’m still not entirely sure if this is a joke or not, but it really made me think about all my worries around having a child.
Why did this come up? Because we both want kids and are trying to plan for the future, a future which starts soon (we’re already late 20's). We’re trying to plan and make rationale decisions while we can. Part of this involves setting some deadlines around when we’d like kids — hence 2 years to go.
All my worries boil down to 2 main points:
- Being physically healthy in order to give our baby the best possible start
- The financial and social implications of having children & how it will affect our lives
Having a healthy kid sounds like something you can’t really prepare for right?
There is HEAPS a person “must do” to ensure a healthy situation going in. The big ones are obviously no-brainers (not drinking during pregnancy and breast feeding, no soft cheeses during pregnancy etc). But what about the entire market of other pieces of health advice, including things like:
- Supplements to take while getting/during pregnancy
- Staying healthy/fit yourself
- Avoiding a list of foods & drinks that makes eating out near impossible
- Get some great private health insurance (of course this equals expensive private health insurance)
No — I won’t be having the child myself, but damned if this kind of thing doesn’t weigh on my mind!
Which brings me to supplements for healthy sperm. Whatever marketer finally found a way to make males take a pill for healthy pregnancy really deserves an award, as it had never even entered my mind until today, but now I’m trying to think of a reason I SHOULDN’T spend money on it.
In fact the one thing that worries me just as much as the health of my child/partner though is the money.
Today we had a “chat” about how we can afford to live for a year while my partner is off work. Basic options include:
- Move — you need rent to be VERY cheap
- Lower expectations for the year — you won’t be spending much money
And most importantly:
Ensure you both have great paying jobs, possibly that can be done from home, so you can continue to work/be supported while off
That’s right, a bulk of it seems to come down to “make sure you earn enough & have a company with a generous policy for maternity payments”.
Wow, imagine if it was a single mother trying to do this? My level of respect just shot through the roof as I try and imagine it right now.
Of course it doesn’t end even if you both end up working either, because suddenly you have child care payments to consider, along of course with all the normal child costs.
WHAT ANNOYS ME THE MOST THOUGH
Is that until I started considering having a child, I never appreciated just what people go through. I come from a background of so much privilege, live a good life, yet still become so worried about this.
For many people it might not be a choice they walk into. Many of the options I have would not even be available to them. Yet they still get on with it, raise great children, be amazing parents. As the father I’m not even physically carrying the child, my responsibilities are different.
Right now, it seems to me that having a child is the pinnacle of being an “adult”, above having a house, or a job, or anything else. It’s something I very much want to do, something I’ve always dreamed of.
So for all those currently in the process — you have my absolute respect. I can’t imagine what you’re having to sacrifice, to plan out, to make happen, so you can hit this achievement.
And for those who have already been there and done that — any advice?
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Christopher Phillips is a freelance marketing strategist, content creator & Pokémon Master, based in Melbourne, Australia.
For the past five years he has been working with companies across Australia & New Zealand to bring their marketing to life.