An Open Letter..

This is an open letter to the absolute jackass that decided to throw off my Tuesday morning.

Dear (I am assuming yeah yeah) Sir.

Let me paint you a picture. You work 7 to 10 in the morning, twice a week, cutting vegetables and fruits, all the while giving yourself early onset adult arthritis. You wake up at 5:45 (every Tuesday and Thursday), and its hard. You have to get up before the people on your floor are awake, and all your movement is slow because you are groggy and your roommate is asleep. So you grab your stuff and head to the gender neutral shower.

Why the gender neutral? Well, there are a few reasons. One, because the showers in your dorm are cramped and dark, and if there is an opportunity to use the gender neutral, you do. Because its bright, the water is always hot, and there is the removable shower head that helps get the shampoo out of your hair. You can play your music as loud as you want, and put your legs up on the adjustable chair when you need to shave your legs. There’s a lot less moving around, and you don’t have to move your location to have ample room to change into the clothes you wear to work.

So yes. The gender neutral is where you go every Tuesday and Thursday to get ready for your long, long day. This is a part of your routine and god help whoever messes up your routine because it can kind of mess up your day.

So you wake up groggy, Tuesday morning, to a dark room. You move slowly as to not wake your roommate and make your way to the gender neutral. You set everything up, choose your musical playlist and are about to turn on the water when- what?

You reach your hand out and there is no handle. None. Nada.

How are you supposed to turn on the water and shower to prepare for your day when you have NO WAY of turning the water on.

You can’t. So what you do is huff and puff and rush to the group showers to hit up the cramped spaces there, where the water pressure is next to none and the light doesn’t reach the shower.

How did you like that tale, sir? Are you thinking wow, how could I remove a metal shower handle off of the wall, and ruin a piece of our building. I don’t know friend. But just know that you, sir, suck. You suck a lot.

Because what I just described to you is what I had to do. And no, maybe my Tuesday is not going to go up in flames, but you know what, I have a set routine for my mornings that mentally help me prepare for my day. Your action of somehow yanking this handle off of the wall in the gender neutral bathroom has messed up the days of several people. Many on our floor use that shower, and your dumb mistake has thrown off their schedules.

I hope that your small exert of strength, usually meant for something less savory, has satisfied you. Because if this nonsense happens again there will be consequences. I make the food on this campus (kind of..). I can hit you where it hurts, just like you got me during my peaceful morning routine.

To call upon a well loved song in my musical playlist, I hope you have AWFUL spooky-Mormon hell dreams.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.