First and foremost, I did not create this blog to moon over and gush about my friends. Or my family. I created this blog to talk about my life and go out of my comfort zone. And even though a lot of the times I talk about my friends and family, I most certainly will also talk about other things. I promise.
I am going to take the time to get better. For some background, I have not been truly single since my freshman year of high school, and I am now a sophomore in college. I didn’t think I would be the girl who always has a boyfriend, but I guess I was.
But, I am newly single. And it’s weird to say. But I am going to get better. I am going to FINALLY focus on me. I am going to do things that I want without feeling guilty or being looked at funny. I am excited to be able to have lazy weekends without realizations in the middle of the week where I figure out I have a visitor that I have to be with. I want to be able to relax with my friends and go through my day only worrying about me.
I have a lot of different plans in mind. I am going to make sure every day, I am making myself happy. I am going to do things for me, like eating an extra cookie. I won’t have worry about constant communication or making somebody happy. I will be making myself happy and that is all that matters.
I have been getting better. There’s sometimes a lot of hurt in my heart. I sometimes find that I have a dull ache that is sort of familiar, or there’s a sharp pang that makes me stop and think about not fun things. I still can wake up every morning and be thankful. Thankful that I have this life, with my wonderful family and friends to keep me going.
I have new ideas and goals that will help me later in the long run. I have been planning my summer, applying for jobs, working out and reading more books. I have time to think about myself, and what I want to be doing. I haven’t been able to actually think about myself in a while I guess.
It feels different to have time for me. I like this change.
I think a big part of the reason that I am doing so well is that I have the support of my friends and family. I love the time I get to spend with them, and the love that they have for me. I cherish them unconditionally.
A good support system can help you get through anything. I am pretty sure that is a psychological fact, kind of. I have the privilege of having these people as my family, and their kindness comes with that. I couldn’t be happier.