Alternate Driver’s License Written Test
My sixteen-year-old can’t fail
What is the appropriate response to a shell being hurled at you from Bowser?
- If you are Princess Peach, take the ramp on the left and avoid the mystery box.
- Shake your fist, shout in Italian, and swerve wildly.
- Switch on your directional, check your rear-view mirrors, and calmly move into the left lane.
Please choose the appropriate mix of bumper stickers:
- One ironic, one insulting, one bragging.
- One political, one offensive, one from a vacation spot.
- One sports team, one scientific, one patronizing.
Under what conditions is okay to use the ejector button:
- When your toddler has spilled strawberry milk on the leather seats.
- When your companion insists on listening to Journey
- Only if you are a British misoginist with a license to kill.
Choose the most appropriate location for having your windows open, your music blasting with an extra subwoofer in the trunk:
- The Holland Tunnel
- All college campuses
- Outside Broadway between 12th and 13th streets
At what age may you install tire-puncturing darts to get back at people who cut you off?