KENTUCKY DERBY WINNER “AMERICAN PHARAOH” UNDER INVESTIGATION

It has been learned that anonymous sources within homeland security agencies have stated that the alert level has been elevated following the Kentucky Derby, where American Pharaoh won the “Race for the Roses.” While American Pharaoh was favored to win the race, the horse’s victory was enough to catch the eye of some within the homeland security intelligence community.

“One thing that is very clear to see,” states one highly placed source, “is that the the name American Pharaoh is an obvious juxtaposition of 2 competing ideas and is an indication of the desire of many countries in the Middle Eastern region to rule “the west” in general and more specifically, the United States. Further, we in the intelligence community believe this victory may well be a signal to various sleeper cells that they are to go active with their missions.” Using elements of the Patriot Act, agencies are expected to fully investigate the horse’s owner, Egyptian-American Ahmed Zayat, and the rest of Pharaoh’s team.

Another source said, “If you look at the picture accompanying every sports article covering the derby, what do you see? You see a pharaoh well ahead of the red, white and blue stars and stripes. I don’t think it can be any clearer than that. We don’t want to see another 9-11 come about by not connecting the dots this time”

It is unclear at this time if American Pharaoh will be permitted to participate in the Belmont Stakes, the second leg of the famed “Triple Crown” of horse racing, on the 6th of June or if homeland security officials will prevent the horse from having an opportunity at making history. It has been nearly 30 years since the last triple crown winner when Affirmed captured the Kentucky Derby, Belmont Stakes and Preakness in 1978.

Coincidentally (or not?), there has not been a triple crown winner since the Shah of Iran was deposed the following year, leading to the establishment of the Islamic Republic of Iran and the taking of the 52 American who spent 444 days in captivity. When questioned on that fact, the anonymous officials could not be pressed for a comment, saying only “there are still some things best left unspoken.”

Remember, if you see something, say something, even if that something is as innocent as a beautiful equine with a “funny” name winning the most prestigious horse race in the world…because homeland security can be weird.

Update: The day after the Kentucky Derby, where American Pharaoh’s victory is believed to be a sleeper cell signal, a team of gunmen reported to be associated with The Islamic State were killed as that attempted to enter a public gathering in Garland, Texas. While there is no definitive link to the Derby outcome, officials have not yet ruled out a connection, nor will they comment on steps being taken to establish or refute any connection to the race. Stay tuned for updates as they become available.

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