My Broken is Worse than Your Broken

So, I have a question for you: How does one respond when one is told that one is emotionally abusive?

In my case, one Googles it.

I found a definition here. It says:

…Emotional abuse is made up of a series of incidents, or a pattern of behavior that occurs over time. Emotional abuse is more than just verbal insults, the most common definition of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is a series of repeated incidents — whether intentional or not — that insults, threatens, isolates, degrades, humiliates, and/or controls another person.

It may include a pattern of one or more of the following abuses: insults, criticisms, aggressive demands or expectations, threats, rejection, neglect, blame, emotional manipulation and control, isolation, punishment, terrorizing, ignoring, or teasing.

Well, that’s me. Can’t escape that one.

I am a Christian. I love Jesus and I am justified by his death on the cross. I know the theology and doctrine of sin and repentance…but would you blame me if I said somehow, this sin is different? These two ideas should never intersect!

How do you even begin to share that with someone? How do you start a relationship with someone, knowing that you have a history of emotionally abusing the people that are closest to you? I can see it now…

“Hi, My name is _____. I love Jesus and I’m a recovering emotional abuser.”

If you were curious to know, I have shared this with people, and their response has been much more than I could ever ask for; that’s the body of Christ for you.

But is my sin, emotional abuse, truly different from other sins—pornography, selfishness, bitterness, materialism, pride, drunkenness, and so on?

King David, a man after God’s very heart, wrote, “Against You [God], You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight…” (Psalm 51:4, NASB). David is saying that in reality, God’s perspective tells us what sin is, and ultimately, our sin is against God alone.

Whoa. I guess it makes sense though. Sin is not equal in severity (a white lie is not as severe as rape), but it is equal in effect: sin is a violation of the good and perfect order of the universe because it is against an infinitely holy Creator.

Maybe I can count on that. Maybe that definition is what enabled Jesus to love and accept the guilty adulteress, the corrupt tax collector, the persecutor of his church, the dying thief, and me. I might be a recovering emotional abuser, but ultimately, I’m a recovering sinner. And so are you (if you’re in Christ, that is).

Jesus loves us both. He died and set us both free, even if my sins are far, far more hurtful and severe than yours. So thanks for loving me as Jesus does. And thanks for forgiving me, even as the Father does.

- Sincerely Broken.