Procrastination. Wait, what was I doing?
Hi there. I’m back with some ‘comical’ advice you never asked for. In this weeks To Whom It May Concern:
Dear TWiMC,
I don’t know how to stop procrastinating. Help!
From, Frod Regers
Procrastination…let’s get real. I procrastinated writing this, editing this, and publishing this. So I have a real understanding of what it’s like to be a procrastinator and one that has yet to crack the code.
I’ll be sharing my tale of woe so that maybe this will help you to not procrastinate? Let’s be real though, probably not. I mean I’m going to take a wild guess and say you might be procrastinating by reading this.
I think all of us procrastinator types need to just come to terms with the fact that we will never not be procrastinators.
I realize I sound like a pessimistic dink for claiming this as I’m trying to give advice. “Ay! People never change! So just give up! Ahhhh,” as I shout into the endless ether of the internet. However, hopefully my failures give you a sense of what not to do.

Over the years, I have done everything in my power to dissuade myself from getting distracted. I write on paper, I block myself from the internet, I make all sorts of mind maps and listicles (heh), I try to get creative juices flowing by looking up ‘how best to get creative juices flowing.’ True story.
But there isn’t much hope for me. I always get distracted by something, even if it’s not interesting. If it can quickly take me away from the loathe-some pain of writing or working on a project then we’re golden. Honestly, shiny things do catch my eye, and those links to stories that are obviously bogus, always look weirdly appealing when I’m trying to avoid something.

Whoa! I can lose 20 pounds by eating only carrots for three days?! I gotta check if this is for real… And then I’m lost down the internet rabbit hole, becoming an expert on anything and everything that’s not related to what I’m supposed to be doing.
What started out as one video of famous people eating very hot and spicy chicken wings turns into 50 other YouTube videos. And now I’m sitting slumped over in the dark watching an E-list international indie movie trailer from 2004, of a movie that I’m never going to watch, with actors I’ve never seen before, that probably only hit weird little theatres in Slovania. But here I am, watching it.
But then something clicks, and I think to myself, “What the hell, where am I and how did I get here?” Feeling like Frodo waking up after being half dead from the long ass journey I took to not throw the ring into Mordor.

So you see, to some degree I’ve come to terms with my procrastination. Going through the 5 stages of procrastination grief is actually the best way to realize that you won’t get anything done, ever, unless you pick your ass up and take it somewhere where you can actually get some work done.
You know what actually, stop reading this long-winded rant and do that. Because I’m just another nobody on the internet who pulls the same stuff, and I’m telling you, reading this won’t make a bit of difference unless maybe I say, get lost.
Stop reading random stuff on the internet and do something cool, or write that essay, or do that research you’re supposed to be doing, or calculate those weird SinCosTan equations and parabola and stuff…(that’s honestly the only things I can remember from high school math class. Actually I didn’t even remember parabola, I had to look it up to remember). Now you know I’m not a mathematician.
In the words of the great Rick James bitch, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” But in this case we’ll replace cocaine with procrastination. Procrastination is a hell of a drug, and the only way you’ll get anything done is if you just do it (Nike please don’t sue me).
