Primitive Aliens

we never came,we always been here

Last year, humanoid aliens arrived. Their arrival caused quite a lot

of panic; however, that panic quickly declined after the discovery of

their primitive nature. They have a language, but it is a very

primitive one; the language has less than half the phonemes that our

language has and can be easily whistled by us. The aliens have a sense

of morality, however it seems to be only the bare minimum needed for

the survival of their species; that, we think, justifies the use of

them for entertainment. They also lack the ability to do basic math!

Some of us have taken them in as pets. Sadly, the tricks they can do

are quite limited. I myself have taken one in as a pet; he already had

a name, and I have decided against renaming him. However, I usually

just call him by his nickname, ‘Stupid’; a quite fitting name

considering his lack of cognitive abilities.

A few of the aliens managed to escape. I used to enjoy the hobby of

shooting them; but alas! the corrupt Government decided to make a law

against killing them, because of their high monetary value. The market

of selling these primitives has become quite profitable. Although the

primitives lack the ability to do any serious work, they do have the

ability to do monotonous unskilled labor; and because of that, they

are in high demand as unpaid laborers. They are also in high demand

in the entertainment industry; quite a few television shows have been

made about their trying to escape from primitive cages, which our

children can escape from. Last I checked, none have been able to

escape, although one did come close. Videos of their fornicating have

also become quite profitable.

Some people have come to protest our treatment of the primitives.

These idiots have mostly been met with ridicule. I have suggested to

one that he go live with the primitives and see how they treat him; I

think he would change his mind if he were to do that. I have also

presented the following argument to them: Are they moral agents to the

extent we are? And if they are not moral agents to that extent, what

could justify our treating them with moral consideration?, to which

one of them responded, If they are not deserving of our moral

consideration, neither are our children. How dare this degenerate

compare our own kin to the primitive aliens! Firstly, our children

likely have more moral agency than a primitive; and secondly, even if

they do not, there are moral agents that care for the children, and it

would therefore be doing a wrong to those moral agents if the child

were harmed. Why should we be moral to those who are incapable of

returning the favor?

Today I am going to a comedy show wherein the comedians dress up in

clothes of the primitives and pretend to be one of them. It is quite

humorous. They will also have some aliens there for sale; perhaps I

will buy myself one.

‘I a primitive. If ya let me watch television, I do anything.’

I decided to go check out the aliens that are for sale. One dared to

speak to me!

‘Please let us go. We didn’t do anything to you!’

I spat in its face.

‘Fuck you!’

How dare this inferior speak to me like that! I took out my knife,

grabbed his hand, and cut off one of his fingers. That’ll teach him.

‘Just let us go back home! We won’t bother you ever again.’

‘Why would we do that when you are so much fun to play with?’

‘Aren’t you doing this for revenge?’

‘I did not realize we had anything to avenge.’

‘Then why are you doing this to us?’

‘Because it is a hell of a lot of fun.’

‘Don’t you have any sense of ethics?’

‘Of course we do, but we are not going to apply it to non-rational

beings such as yourself!’

‘Can’t we make some sort of deal? Please just let us go back to

Earth!’