Its Better to be interested in others.
Project 1: The Interested Challenge!
How to win Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie:
This book written by Dale carnegie in 1888–1895 and published in 1936.In his book he gave instruction about the handling people, winning friends, bringing people to your way of thinking, being a great leader, and navigating home life successfully. In the first chapter of the book ,Title as “Do This, and you ‘will be Welcome Everywhere”.He gives the idea of “ Being Interested rather than be interesting”.
He start by telling about his Dog which name was Tippy. He said all the animals are working for living but the Dog is the only animal which does not work for living .He only loves you. One night the Tippy killed by lightening.That time for the Dale Carnecie was very sad, because he only had one friend at that time.
He address to Tippy by saying
“You never read a book on psychology, Tippy. You knew by some divine instinct that you can make more friends in two months by genuinely getting interested in people than you can make in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”
Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says:
It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”
He also tell about writers and quoted that
“If the author doesn’t like people,” he said, “people won’t like his or her stories.”
He adopted this beautiful habit to be interested rather than interesting by reading different hero’s life.
My major point which I learn from his books is
· Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
· Give honest and sincere appreciation.
· Arouse in the other person an eager want.
· Become genuinely interested in other people.
· Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
· Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
· Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
· Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
· Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
· Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
· Let the other person save face.
· Praise every improvement.
· More “you” than ‘I’.
· Remember other Date of birthdays.
· Never Eat Alone.
Experience of Being Interested in People:
When I applied these rules in my daily routine to become more interested than being interesting and ask people about their life and knowing how they feel about their life.
I start to practice this ideology,
By asking my class fellows whom I meet after a long time the name of my friend is Sonia and I asked her about her family ,what the challenge she face nowadays and her mother `s health and his future goals .when I am asking these question she was so surprised and feel very friendly to share about his problems.
I console her about her mother`s health and encourage her that One day all the problems will be sorted out.
I met one old lady which works in our hostel .Her age is 50.I asked her how she managed her house by doing so many jobs. She told me that her husband passed away 20 years ago and her work at different home to earn money so that she gives food to her children. She starts crying by telling how much she struggle done to give her children food .She is a Christian lady and cannot marry with another person because this is not allowed in their religion. I helped her by giving 2000 and console her that whenever you faced money problem come to me, I will do my best to solve your problem.
“The measurement of self-assurance is how deeply and sincerely interested you are in others; the measure of insecurity is how much you try to impress them with you”.
I have come to know that People love you when you give them time and asking about their life goals and tell them who they live happy .Everyone wants that other people must give respect and time and appreciate them ,because this is human nature that he automatically attracted toward that person who give him respect and trust him.
At the end, I feel that when we take interest in other people and asked about their life problems we feel that we have less problems .Every man has a lot of problems and we learn a lot from other people experience and feel that we should must say thanks to Allah that we are in much more better condition than others.