Not your motivational article

There is something wrong. After reading a lot of article and post about effort, i still full doubt about get out of comfort zone. I quite agree that comfort zone is the enemy of development. Easy time create weak person. The main reason why people must get out from their comfort zone is to create a hard time and hard time create strong person. I fully understand that logic and many stories from the past confirms that.

I asked my self, once in a while, why i am not fully get out from my comfort zone? Am i afraid of hard times? No, absolutely not. According to my experience, i have numerous time jumping into hard time both intentionally and unintentionally. So why? Why am i still full of doubts?

I found the answer, it is all about pay offs. The only thought that prevent me to push my boundaries is just a question. A very simple question.

“What if my effort does not pays as much as i expected?” or “Is it really worth it?” This simple question forbid me from taking chances and try something new.

“But if you don’t try, you guaranteed to stuck wherever you are and when you try, there is a chance of you being better”. Okay, i get it. I need to try.

After a long thinking and logic battle in my mind, these kind of answer did not make me jump and try something new. One of the reason is when you start to try something, you start expecting from it. The reason why we try something is because we expect to gain something. That’s it. I started to try something and expecting something from, let’s say, an activity that you barely knows usually end up disappointing.

Maybe it linked to my past. Few of my expertise are gone without actual application or i never used it anymore. I put a great effort to hone my skill in a certain aspect and it pays off poorly. I started to distrust my self motivation to pursue my expertise in a certain aspect. I decided to follow what market needs, this also have their own problem. When i follow the markets, i follow someone who gone through great length with such a great effort. This create a skill gap which in my imagination is quite easy to catch up whereas in reality it does not. This difference between reality and imagination is halting me from trying more because it broke my expectation.

Until now, i never know which one is better, pursuing my self interest or follow the markets need. in the midst of this confusion, a new enlightenment arises. The only problems that i have is my expectation grow order is bigger than my skill grows order. That’s it. As long as this persist, i will never have upgrade my skill since my motivation is always crushed by my expectation.

I will update this writing after i found solution to my expectation and skill grow order.

This writing is just me trying to let out what is bugging me and documenting how i found the answer to what is bugging me. Thanks

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