Human First

rule no. 1 in the book for startup culture

At Bespoke, everything is new— we are a tiny, parceled together team with a simple workspace. I’m at the helm making decisions based on a wobbly, scrappy and patchworked concoction of experiences that make me as qualified as I’ll every be to play ‘Startup Founder & CEO.’ Every assumption, every workflow structure, every element of our seedling culture seems penciled in at best— except for one— Human First.

The Human First rule was the first (and for months, the only) element of Bespoke culture that was even a conscious consideration. Mostly because it’s the approach I take about life in general. Before you’re a Community Manager, Marketing Director, mom, CFO, husband, serial entrepreneur or janitor, you’re a human being. You’re a person with interests, passions, fears, relationships & a long history of experiences that help make you who you are. As a Founder, if I don’t know you I can’t assess or appreciate how you’ll make a unique an interesting impact on what we’re creating at Bespoke, and I can’t make sure that I’m able to create an experience for you that contributes to your path of becoming more, well, yourself. For me, it also means that if you are willing and able to play a killer game of Cards Against Humanity after a long strategy session, you’re sensibilities most likely fit in with ours. (Note that the irony of this statement is not lost on me, and I will mourn the day that we institute proper HR at Bespoke, knowing the first thing on the chopping block will be Cards Against Humanity as an acceptable form of team member vetting.)

So Human First— it means I see you foremost as a human being (with dogs to walk, parents & children with mismatched schedules to manage, unexpected incidents and forgotten laptop chargers) and that I take that into consideration when framing you by your current role at Bespoke. Yes it’s more work. Yes, it can make things seem more complicated on the surface, but it’s entirely worth the benefit when you see how committed your team members are when they feel respected for who they are not just what they do for you.

‘Yes it’s more work… but it’s entirely worth the benefit when you see how committed your team members are when they feel respected for who they are not just what they do for you.’

So all of this is great, right? What an amazing and thoughtful founder— that’s what you’re thinking, right? Totally. So was I. Until I realized that the whole thing only works if I apply the rule to myself too. I’m human too (duh, right?)— I deserve all of the things I’m giving to my team from my team, and I deserve to give them to myself. Now that may sound simple and painfully obvious to some of you, but as a mom, wife and female founder, somehow I feel I was hardwired to put everyone elses’ oxygen masks on first, hoping that they’ll then want to help me out as I’m gasping for my last breath in an asphyxiated fit on the floor.

‘I deserve all of the things I’m giving to my team from my team, and I deserve to give them to myself.’

Like all great realizations, I came to this one in a bout of insomnia at 3:45 this morning while staring at the ceiling thinking about my startup and the fact that I’m headed into the office today to let a member of my team go. And when ‘Human First’ is your company’s mantra, your personal mantra, it makes doing the deed that much harder. I know that this member of my team has personal & financial responsibilities and relationships outside my office doors that are going to be affected by this decision. I’m always of the hope that the lessons to be gleaned and growth to be had can happen inside our tiny, parceled team. This time, however, the lesson to be gleaned (for me AND my team member) was in the act of letting go. If I respect myself as much as my teammates, then I have to expect excellence, transparency, accountability & initiative from them (more on those topics later) because that’s what I’m giving. If I respect myself as much as I respect my teammates as human beings, then I can’t stand for less when it comes to the privilege of being a part of Bespoke in its foundling state.

I believe in a holistic approach to leadership. I believe that no matter your title within an organization, you need to create reciprocal relationships, especially in startup culture, because if I’m not giving back something as valuable to my team as what they’re giving to me— their energy, ideas, time, and unique perspectives— eventually they’ll deflate, burn out, tune out. Though the pencil eraser continues to get a daily workout, I’m willing to write this one in ink (or blood, sweat and tears).

Human First.