Human’s Diary | Chapter 7
Due to the current situation we are living in, we decided to undertake a new initiative: create an appointment with people coming/living in different parts of the world to share our own experiences, challenges and lessons learned about COVID-19. This moment is filled up by strangers willing to share/exchange the more human aspects of the current situation.
It’s a human’s diary.
On Sunday May 3rd, we conducted two sessions in a day between two networks: New York and Milan with chats at 11am and 1pm EST. Giving us added insight and a longer listing of themes than previous articles. We shared testimonials between folks living in New York, Belgium, UK and Italy. Thank you Natalie Kuhn, Hanna Korel, Simon Day, Ivan Entchevitch, Mike Pinder, Serena Leonardi and Antonio Iadarola for co-writing these insights.
The following thoughts and aspects are the ones that were kept into our minds in our last session. We talked about the divergence between our previous normal and our new normal, the spectrum of individual health values, social distancing as it relates to intimacy, and finally the inequalities that continue to be exacerbated by our current situation.
The following are thoughts, insights and open questions of our last conversation… and probably some contradictions; in the end we are just humans.
Reflection on Our Past, Getting Creative for Our Future
Will our lives ever be the same “when this ends”? Do we truly want what we had before? Was any of that even healthy? Maybe there are some behaviors and practices that we want to leave in the past ie. packed gyms acting as cesspools for germs, pushing mental health to the side in favor of productivity, complete disregard for the environment in favor of ease of lifestyle or profit.
While we consider our future, let us reflect on our past to make more deliberate decisions around what we keep. What are we missing most in this time? The physical aspects of human connection. Drinks, dinners, game nights and simple get togethers have changed. As much as we want to continue doing these things as we did before, we feel the gap between being together online vs. in person.
There is no replacement for the warmth of friends and family together in the same place…or a hug. And many of us struggle to pretend that there is any comparison at all. But we can’t give up. We may be in these pandemic times for quite a while, so how can we safely push boundaries? How can we get creative to embrace safety while making connection? Some have witnessed group picnics at six feet apart, socially distant walks together, kicking shoes as the new greeting from hugs or handshakes… Let’s get creative because the longer we avoid even considering connection, the longer it will take to find new practices and more intimidating it becomes.
The Spectrum of Individual Health Values
Wonderful… yet another thing for us to disagree upon.
There are many countries that are entering into a second phase of the lockdown, what does it mean? A little bit of freedom but with restrictions, the possibility for businesses to discover and experiment a new context; a slow restart for communities and society.
Have you thought about a long term social distancing? Have you thought about how social distancing is going to shape your life, behaviours and routines? In this session, we drafted some possible scenarios on how we are going to interact with this new modality of socializing. Also, we talked about the implications on how this new mechanism might affect our temperament, feelings… ourselves.
We now know that we are going to perform social distancing for a while, we don’t have a deadline. So, how are we preparing ourselves to interact differently for a medium — long period(?) -We are humans, we adapt- but what could be the consequences?
We have all noticed the different approaches others have chosen to take to keep themselves safe during this time. The approaches fall on a spectrum of stringent to rather lackadaisical practices. We find ourselves at odds with friends, family and romantic partners as we navigate where we individually fall within this spectrum. It has become a topic of uncomfortable conversation, or even an unsaid agreement to disagree.
Struggles were shared around differences of opinion between children and their parents, co-parenting amidst two sets of health values across households, and between friends who once agreed on most things but now disagree on the safety around socially distant walks. We discussed the relationship of this conundrum to sexual health practices — how crucial it is to have open communication with those we care about to make sure everyone is comfortable.
Serena mentioned her concern on how social distancing could affect Pietro (her son). Pietro was used to seeing his grandparents and hung them strongly, right now they have to measure distance and wear masks. How are children processing all this information? How are they going to grow and create bounds with others in the future? For us, “the adults”… we were used to going to dinners, bars, dating, having small gatherings at our homes. Some of us are very warm and physical, others a bit less, others just colder — besides these different behaviour, we all confirmed that all that we miss is human contact.
Social Distancing and Intimacy
How our relationships -as humans seeking for intimacy- are going to evolve? How clumsy or accurate our interactions are going to become?
What is it going to be the new concept of intimacy? How are we going to manage confidentially with friends, families, lovers, new flirts? How is your first party going to be? How is going to be your first trip with your family? What about online dating during covid? -
Are we going to create new “agreed” self isolation mechanisms, activities, to try to recover the closeness we were used to? Is technology going to help us to meet friends, lovers and flirts in a secure way? Are we going to become hyper selective with what friends/colleagues we meet? How can the system support continuous testing to reassure that we are ok and create trust in others? Are tracing apps going to be enough? Should we study history and try to grab some principles when other similar crisis, illnesses appear? Would it be enough?
We have more questions than answers here, for sure some interactions might become less spontaneous, less intimate. We will be drawn by new ways of creating connections, we might evolve in a different way and there will be a mental shift to manage for sure. We will continue to reflect on this topic.
Irrational Trust
We also touched on irrational trust toward friends, family and even kind strangers. Just because someone is nice, or close to you, does not mean that they have the same health values, or will practice the same social distancing practices, as you. It is important to find ways of communicating your values, and / or keeping yourself safe when around strangers.
Unbridgeable inequalities
The world historically has been facing an endless inequality. There are countries facing more extreme inequalities, others less… but it’s a visible fact everywhere we go, everywhere we live.
One of the big consequences of covid-19 is the social-economic clash. Many people and businesses are changing perspectives, some re-invented themselves from scratch, others evolving in different ways. Some companies are doing fine, some small businesses are dealing with very difficult times. We have seen how local businesses are surviving this pandemia, offering new ways to sell their product… most of them are based on delivery through amateurs platforms- they had the possibilities, the humble skills. What happens to those who do not have any of this? Will they still be able to survive? Who can give a hand to these businesses? Would it be enough? There is another shift happening, are we realizing it?
The call is to observe more our context, to be empathic and understand if we might have some role in all these situations. How can we create equality in a context full of unbridgeables inequalities? — This might be e rhetorical question-
If you would like to join the conversation, try to answer these questions and craft together initiatives, let’s connect next Sunday.
Cheers,
Human’s Diary Team.
