Chapter from my novel

Chapter 1. The ghost

Today is the first day of the fall, and there are yellow leaves on the pavement in the local park. Sometimes I go there and look at them. I also try to ruffle them with my feet, and it almost seems that I can. I know for sure that animals can see me, and cats get guarded and super cautious. Honestly, I think they take part in some contest “I will stare you down”. They look pretty stupid all frozen and tense, trying all they can to be oh so brave, but the way they react, it’s just silly. And dogs bark, as a rule. That can become hilarious. The dog barking at some empty spot, especially later at night; I almost sense the fear emanating from the owner. But I go to the park only when I feel like it. I don’t have any special connections to the park. I can go there only because it’s close by, literary around the corner. What I’m connected to is the mall, specifically, one particular store. French Kiss it’s called, and I swear it’s the stupidest name for a store anyone could come up with. I never liked it. I told Matilda I hate it, and she agreed. These shiny glossy pink lips as a sign for our store, bleh! I want to throw up! We are selling underwear and some women’s accessories. I always thought that it would be a great idea to sell something for men as well, but, come to think of it, what man in his right mind would go to “French Kiss” to buy stuff! We have only women coming to us.

I can’t really tell whether I like women or not. I mean, of course, I like women! For the most part, I like how they look, but maybe I would have preferred not to deal with how they think, because sometimes I don’t get it. I have some female friends, but it doesn’t help the matter much. I’m a little bit confused what tense I should be using, because obviously I can’t say “I have friends” if they don’t see me. And it’s hard for me to use “I had friends” since they are still my friends. Me and Matilda got along from the very first day when I started to work there. She is a little bit older than me, and she had a boyfriend at that time (she still has, but a different one I think), but she turned out to be very welcoming and friendly to a new, shy guy like me. We got drunk and high the very first day after work, and these circumstances, as I realized later, tend to be a very solid foundation for the majority of Matilda’s friendships.

I do not remember how I came to work to French Kiss. Strange thing, I have a perfect recollection of some events and people in my previous life, but not of others. With some moments, if I really want to and if I concentrate, I can close my eyes and watch a perfect memory like a movie. It’s amazing, but I can even note the details that escaped me when I was actually living that situation! I discovered it by chance, of course.

When I found myself in this weird condition, and when I realized who I was, literally, LOL. I burst into laughter at how ironic life (or death?) is. When alive, I pretended to be a ghost to amuse myself (work was boring, and everyone has a right to amuse themselves the way they can), and I even played some tricks on Kris, Evany, and Matilda.

Another thing I don’t remember, and this is more serious, I don’t remember how I died. I mean, this is vital information for a ghost, isn’t it? It’s like a birth! Admittedly, no one remember their birth, but it’s explainable: we were too young to remember anything. But the fact that I don’t remember how I died (I did die, didn’t I? Otherwise, why would I become a ghost? Or, I should say, some being resembling a ghost) is plain unjust and unfair.