Calm is a superpower. Use yours.
Keep your head while everyone around you is losing theirs.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you…
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
Poems posses a power that even the sagest advice or wisest philosophy cannot match. The reason, I contend, is that the finest poem lacks a sense of pride or even authorship. It is not the voice of a superior giving edicts, or a teacher instructing pupils, but a timeless bit of wisdom, one that has flowed through time like the wind, that the poet has been blessed enough to discover and kind enough to share, for she knows this wisdom doesn’t belong to her, but to us all.
So the wisdom of If is not archaic or anachronistic instruction from a bygone age of chivalry and chauvinism. It is not even the advice given from a father to his son. Rather it is a meditation that transcends its time and even its author, bestowing an insight that will never not be true:
Calm is a superpower
Yeah, yeah, we know, “Keep Calm & Carry On” and all that. We’ve all seen the t-shirts and screensavers. We’ve read the ten-step self-help articles. Be present, slow down, be mindful, sure. But what does it really mean to be calm? What are we saying when we say: “keep your head?”
The word “calm,” conjures mental images of meditation, yoga, hiking through a verdant forest, or sipping green tea while watching the sun rise. Do an image search and you’ll see what I mean. Yes, all are calming activities, and each has been proven to decrease stress, anxiety, and blood pressure.
But calm is not something that can be bought and sold. It is not just another buzzword coined by “Big Wellness.” It is not advice that be given or a lesson that can be taught. Calm comes from within, not without, or it doesn’t exist at all. Not really.
It is one thing to remain calm while doing your downward-facing dog on a beach with the gentle sounds of the wind and waves as you soundtrack. But truthfully, how many of us can relate to that? It is entirely different, yet all too real, to struggle to remain calm while your kids are screaming, your boss is crossing work-life boundaries, your deadline is getting close or, as anyone today can relate to, you feel like a prisoner in your own home while you watch your retirement account disintegrate and your country strangle in the grip of an ambivalent virus. What are you supposed to do then? Sip green tea?
There is no shortage of advice for “keeping calm and carrying on.” Much of it is valuable. But here’s the rub: there is no listicle that can be calm for you. No set of instructions. No manual. You may get insight and advice from all around you, but you’re going to have to find your path by yourself. And that’s a good thing.
This is what makes calm a superpower. Your superpower. You find what works best for you so you can make it work best for others. And it has never been more important to stay calm.
The world is angry, anxious, reckless, and unkind. Worse yet, these vices are treated as virtues, as if they were a sign of righteousness towards a cause. It is a good thing we are told to create and conquer new enemies, not foster and build new friendships. Moderation, empathy, and yes, calmness, are treated with suspicion. The world thinks your calmness means you don’t care, when the truth is your calmness means you care so much you won’t let the issues that truly matter be appropriated by false prophets and self-interested parties.
Calmness means you maintain a clear head, an open mind, and a strong heart, as best you can, no matter the situation, whatever the world inevitably throws at you. It means keeping your head while everyone about you loses theirs. Calmness means doing your part, however small it may seem, to heal the world, starting with your own. Is it easy? Absolute not. But as the cliche goes, if it were, everyone would do it. But here’s the thing: I can’t tell you how to do it. I can only encourage you to do it.
So what is the point of this piece then? Simple. Not to tell you how or what to do, but why to do it. This isn’t a dereliction, for I am convinced in my heart that when you believe the why, you will strive to discover the how and the what for yourself, and you will be that much stronger — and that much calmer — for it.
I’m reminded of the Zen proverb: “You should meditate 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then you should meditate for an hour.”
Unrealistic? Perhaps. But buried beneath the literal meaning of this proverb is a hidden truth — the key to calmness lies within you. No matter how busy or consumed you may be, you owe it to yourself and others. Your awareness of the need to be calm, to maintain your cool, to keep your head while those all about you are losing theirs, is the source of your strength. Believe it. Nurture it. Live it.
Do that, and to paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, you’ll be a Man, Woman, or better Person, my son.
