Stop Writing Your Legacy and Start Living Your Life.
The ultimate life hack.
If you’re anything like me, you have probably spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about your legacy. A buddy even made the comment one time that I’m not living my life, I’m writing my autobiography. I know I’m not alone. When did we care so much about our legacies, anyway?
For me, it was probably high school.
Yep, high school.
I started becoming over-analytical about the things I said, the stuff I did, the classes I took, even how I spent my free time. Seriously.
Can’t waste time watching that movie — it’s not on the Criterion Collection!
This novel isn’t considered a classic by a bunch of dead scholars? Nope, not going to read that. I’ll just stare blankly at Crime & Punishment until my eyes dry out instead.
If it sounds exhausting, it was. Funny thing is, in my desire to never waste time, I was actually really wasting time, because I wasn’t doing what I enjoyed, I was doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing. OK, so I wasn’t on drugs or engaging in reckless behavior, but I still have regrets about my misbegotten youth.
College was worse. I think this is the time most people start concerning themselves about their “legacy,” which now that I’m in my 30s seems like madness.
I spent a great deal of my 20s living like this, thinking I needed to hit certain milestones by a certain age for the good of my legacy. Truthfully, I managed to accomplish some important goals, but my obsessive mindset made the achievements less profound. Just another item on the list. Next!
I wish I had read this article first — “You’re Never Going To Have a Legacy, So Give Up Trying.”
Ouch.
That stings…
Here’s the thing though…it’s absolutely right.
I may not have a legacy. As soon I swallowed that bitter pill, I was better off for it.
When you obsess about your “legacy,” you worry about something you have zero control over — how people in the future will remember you. The sad part is, most of them won’t. Even if you’re super successful. Consider this:
Who was the biggest box office star of 1919?
Who was the richest person in 1856?
Who was the President in 1876?
If you got even one of those right, I’d be impressed. Heck, how many people 12 years from now won’t remember the name “Michael Jordan?” I bet Harrison Ford, Indiana friggin’ Jones, could walk down the street and not be recognized by teenagers. My best friend was 14 before he ever knew who John Wayne was (I still give him crap about it). My sister-in-law couldn’t name The Beatles! The Beatles!
Some of the most famous people to ever live have been forgotten. Meanwhile, people like me still obsess over our legacy instead of just living our lives. What’s up with that?
I think it hasn’t something to do with the internet. For one, there’s social media. As the cliche goes, we compare our behind-the-scenes to other people’s highlight reel and find ourselves coming up short. Nevermind those same folks may be thinking the same thing about us. It’s a vicious loop where we all want to be anybody but who we are.
There’s also the fact we are exposed to so many successful people in so many fields. We have a “Success Fetish.” Sure, it’s fine to admire successful people and try to emulate them, but remember you’re only human. You’re not going to be a rock star by 18, a pro athlete by 23, a Rhodes Scholar at 27, a movie star by 29, a Harvard-trained physician by 32, a social media influencer at 36, a CEO by 43, and President by 52. You’re just not.
People slave for years to be just one of those things, and here you are beating yourself up because you’re not all of them? No wonder we’re so anxious! We’re constantly being bombarded with everybody else’s achievements, divorced from the sacrifice it took them to get there, and think we should be doing the same. So what do we do instead? We curl up into a ball and watch Netflix, convinced we’ll never amount to anything.
Meanwhile, we could be dedicating even just a portion of our lives to doing what we do well and actually enjoy.
Yes, it’s no exaggeration to say — our obsession with our legacy is standing in the way of us actually having one. How ironic, right?
This does not mean you shouldn’t have goals. But they should be your goals. Based on what you love and want to be better at. Don’t compare yourself to your favorite celebrities, influencers, business people and politicians, and beat yourself up for coming up short. And don’t base your goals on what you think is good for your “legacy.”
Just live your life.
That isn’t to say having a legacy or caring about it is a bad thing. But please don’t make it your sole focus. Give life a chance to surprise you. You may think it’s your “legacy” to go to Law School so you can be President some day. If Ronald Reagan (a B-movie actor) thought that, he never would have been.
In the same way, when you follow your own path the work you do will be more enjoyable, your performance will be better, and the thrill of accomplishment will be so much sweeter.
Wouldn’t you rather achieve your own goals instead of somebody else’s?
Wouldn’t you rather live your own life instead of somebody else?
Wouldn’t your rather live in the here and now, not with your mind on the future and your legacy?
The greatest freedom isn’t fame or fortune — it’s living your life by your own playbook. And that is the legacy you want to have.
