Vasectomy — “Act of Love” | join the movement
In France in 2021 there were over 23,000 vasectomies. The estimated number is more than 100,000 men since 2001, when it was legalised. The growth is exponential: 10 times in 10 years.
Here is why French men choose vasectomy.
The first time I performed a vasectomy was as a sexologist, not as a urologist. Strange, you might say! What is the link between sexology and vasectomy? I hope you will prove me right!
How I started doing vasectomies
At the end of 2010, somewhere in a Parisian public hospital. Senior urologist and sexologist beginner, I had to take care of a couple. It was a classic story of a typical, blended family in their forties. He had four children from previous marriages. And the couple had worked well! Until the gynecologist advised against continuing the pill and inserting an IUD. She was a smoker and had family problems with cardiovascular disease. She was thus considered at risk. The gynecologist stopped the pill. And no female contraceptive options were suitable. The contraceptive implant was hormonal and tubal ligation seemed cumbersome. The hormonal IUD was also risky, so the copper IUD remained. There are still so-called “collaborative” techniques. Withdrawal was a kind of Russian roulette, and after a few scares, they decided to stop gambling. And the condom was quite boring. The man had long since lost the habit. At the beginning of their relationship, the condom worked quite well, but still…. They were in a hurry to stop after they had done the tests and decided to get together.
For some time, the man had been losing his erection. More and more often. Until he lost it inside… A long moment of loneliness.
«Honey, I lost the condom!»
«What do you mean?» she replied.
«It’s still in there. I’ll go and get it…»
I’ll skip the details and the paroxysmal feeling of the moment. After this incident, their sex life, until then very harmonious, changed. It was as if he had come to a halt. A mixture of guilt, fear of failure, and anxiety. Less desire. He felt he had fewer morning erections and lower libido. Sexuality became scarce and the few timid attempts ended in 90% failure.
That’s how they consulted a urologist-sexologist. Consulting a specialist in urology reassures patients in sexology.
«We thought that we needed a specialist doctor. More than a sexologist» and that «It’s not in your head ».
There were several consultations. The biological explorations were normal. No organic cause in sight. And the situation returned to normal. Their problem was the condom.
For most mature couples, condoms can become a problem. Or rather contraception.
I suggested male contraception, i.e. vasectomy.
«Vasectomy?! It was out of the question.» Said the man.
By profession, he was an architect. But he knew as much about the physiology of the male reproductive system as a schoolboy. Or rather less. I had to explain it to him. I had to fight against the classic preconceived ideas. I had to fight against the idea of castration. Against the absence of ejaculation. Against a decrease in the erection. against a decrease in pleasure, against modified orgasm, and many others against. In short, it was long and complicated to reassure him.
During the next consultation, his companion told me that she had a sister who lived in Montreal. And her sister had told her that in Canada, vasectomy is common. Besides, her sister’s partner had also had a vasectomy. To celebrate his fortieth birthday.
A strange way to celebrate 40 years, by the vasectomy.
He had only copied the model of his father, who had also had a vasectomy. Astonished, he asked her sister:
“Why had her partner chosen to have a vasectomy?»
The answer was clear:
«Because he loves me. What else! Because he doesn’t want me to damage my health with hormones. And because the family is complete. There is no room for a pregnancy that is not on the agenda. I don’t see myself having an abortion. »
“Did the vasectomy change anything?
The Quebec answer was grandiose:
«But of course! Everything has changed! Nothing on the physical side. I’m talking about erection, ejaculation, his pleasure and my pleasure! But what has changed is our FREEDOM to think about and experience sex. My FREEDOM to think about sex without the FEAR of pregnancy. Without WONDERING every month if I’m a day late. Without the FEAR of having forgotten it. Without having to do TESTS. Without the fear, that despite everything… Our sexuality has changed for the better: freer, more imaginative. And fewer constraints. And a FREEDOM acquired FOREVER.»
Clearly, it was a memorable phone call. For both were transformed. The view of vasectomy had changed completely. Initially, the man was scared to death. He was violently opposed to it. At the same time, his wife was only half reassured. Now, both of them were in favor and ready for the vasectomy. A “VASECTOMY Without BISTOURI”? (But what a stupid question, I thought to myself!)
…
That was a long time ago!
Since then, I have changed practices several times, I managed to create a vasectomy center! I formed a team for the logistic organization of the vasectomy: secretariat, webmaster, community manager, nurse… The common point of this team is the enthusiasm around the project. With the milestone of 1000 vasectomies soon to be reached, we have surpassed the objective of developing our activity. We have become activists in the cause of vasectomy in the interest of women!
I coordinated the writing of the first official document on contraceptive vasectomy. “Recommendations for vasectomy…” are awaiting publication.
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The story of the man who was afraid of a vasectomy
Every day I receive new requests for vasectomy. Every couple and every applicant has their own story. Only beautiful stories. But there are some stories that stand out for me.
This is the story of a man who went through the whole circuit and the whole process with me. During the post-operative consultation, I do the usual debriefing. Complications are almost non-existent. The scarring is invisible and all traces of the surgery have disappeared. This allows me to discuss the process. And, I noted during my first consultation:
- preconceived ideas +++
- fear of impotence + ejaculation of liquid sperm
- the idea of his wife
- wants to please her but is doubtful
- thinks he wants to preserve spermatozoa
- wants the “NO SCALP” technique under local anesthetic but is afraid of the needle
- is afraid of the pain during the procedure and afterward
Postoperative consultation after vasectomy
I read out my notes to him and ask him the question:
- What is your point of view now?
Thanks to the consultations, the exchanges before and during the procedure, and the way the vasectomy was carried out, have created a very strong bond.
He answered me very calmly and with a smile:
“I had it all wrong! Sexually, everything is fine. Nothing has changed. I didn’t feel any difference.
During the operation, I hardly felt anything. There was no scalpel and no pain. Except for the anesthetic, and even then it’s hard to talk about pain. The PCR test was much more painful. Post-operatively, I followed your instructions. And apart from a little discomfort, there was nothing. I didn’t even need to take any painkillers.”
- Do you have any regrets?
“Yes!”
- What are they? I replied slightly worried.
“The one about not having done it instead! We had wanted two children. We had them quickly. I didn’t have to wait until the youngest was 14 to have the vasectomy.”
- Let me ask you one last question. Since 2011, when I started doing vasectomies, their number has exploded with 10 times more in 2021. What do you think about this movement?
“Through my personal experience, I believe it’s about men who are truly in love. Men who are willing to have a vasectomy as a gesture of love. There should be an awareness. Every man in love and responsible should be able to join this movement.”
Vasectomy, an act of love
If there is a conclusion, it is this:
A vasectomy is an act of love. Those who are concerned should join the movement.
