#AboutLife: The big 3–0
This year I turned 30. The big 3–0. I remember thinking about it as something exciting, but also scary. “Changes happen in the thirties.”, “Thirties are the best”…those were just some of the sentences I heard from the people around me.
Of course, then the big thinking arrived. “Oh, my, am I mature enough for that big 3–0?”. A few of my high-school friends are already married, with kids, others are still going out and partying like crazy, and there is this group of close friends – who are actually still in their lovey-dovey twenties. “Hey, you can make mistakes in your twenties, but in the thirties that’s not expected”.
A few weeks before my 3–0 birthday, the panic-attack had kicked in. Shit, that’s it. Changes. And I don’t like changes. At least not the big ones – I want them to arrive with a month notice. But they never do. One evening, I remember sitting at home alone, with a glass of rose wine, listening to music (probably Jamie Woon) and thinking about the new decade – expectations.
All of a sudden, a new thought struck me – I’ve been living on this planet for three decades! I’ve done things – some of which I’m very proud of, some of which I’m less proud of, and those things I simply chose to forget. I took my little black notebook, a pen, and started to write things that happened in my life so far… In no particular order:
- I’ve become an aunt – twice, and I’m still participating in the upbringing of those two amazing girls
- I bought an airplane ticket and flew across the Atlantic, because of love
- I came out – proudly, to my parents and my friends
- I fell in love and I’ve learned what love is
- I broke someone’s heart and I was heartbroken
- I’ve been to more then a hundred live-concerts (and still counting)
- I experienced sunsets in Dubrovnik and Zadar and travelled across the whole Croatian part of Adriatic coast
- I ate truffles (and liked it!)
- I saw Florence + the Machine live – three times: Vienna & Ljubljana (2010) and Zagreb (2016)
- I saw Jessie Ware live – three times: Zagreb & Rovinj (2013) and London (2015)
- My best friend chose me to become a godmother to her very first child
- I’ve learned to play two instruments
- I’ve learned what it feels to lose somebody to death
- I’ve danced all night, until sunrise
- I’ve laughed, from the bottom of my heart and with tears in my eyes
- I’ve cried, from the bottom of my heart
Life is beautiful. It sure is.
It’s been a month since I’ve turned 3–0. In only a month – life happened; changes did arrive, without a notice. I did cry a bit and then I read again this list. Those first three decades of my life were fun and exciting, but also scary and painful. And I’m here…