Last night I let the stress get me. The previous day we had 3 home visits scheduled. While they are 100% necessary, I am not a fan of the home visits. They disrupt the day to day, take time away from activities and fun, and honestly just stress me out. So, on Thursday my 2:00 shows up right on time, the nurse. She is an absolute sweetheart , is thrilled to see how well the munchkin is doing, and tells me we were the light in her day. 3:00, the 2:30 appointment shows up (she called previously to make sure this was ok) she talks with myself and munchkin for a bit reminds me of the discipline policy saying “they just make us cram this down everyone’s throat” and reminds me no-hitting, etc. DUH, this is why I’m doing this. But easy enough, she’s also very very kind and sweet. Our visits are usually short because munchkin is doing so well and I haven’t needed too much support. 3:30… 3:45…4:00, 4:15, 4:30 .. no show on the last appointment. I go on with my day figure she was out sick and didn’t get a chance to cancel.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I took the day to ourselves while munchkin was at school. He and I are both very aware of the need for self-care and make sure we take the time to do so when we have it. Amazingly relaxing day. We pick the munchkin up for an adventure after school and spend the afternoon in the woods looking for animals and enjoying nature. I get in my car and have multiple missed calls and voicemails telling me I missed my appointment and that the worker is outside of my house.
I speak with the worker on the phone and explain that the appointment was scheduled for yesterday, I was concerned when she wasn’t there and that’s why I’m not home. We agree for her to wait at my house until we get home which I tell her will be at least 25 minutes. She only calls once to see how much longer I’m going to be. She makes it a point to tell me she doesn’t have much time, was supposed to be done at 4:30, and will just speak with me via phone next week. All understandable and I stay completely friendly and amenable even though I am confident the mistake is hers, not mine.
Working in the field for this long leaves me with an idea of how I could have been viewed in this situation. I continue to let the anxiety in my brain spin all the happenings around the rest of the night. I am short with the munchkin, she tells me I’m “not acting nice to her”, I go in my room and cry. Ignoring the amazing day that we all just had and ultimately mad at myself for getting so upset at something so minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
Life lesson: I may have felt better if I stood up for myself and explained to her that this was, in fact, her mistake. I also definitely would have felt way better if I didn’t let the spinning get the best of me. Take time for yourself, allow the stupid stuff to roll off or you can ruin what was a picture perfect day.
I woke up this morning and did some yoga and meditation by myself before the munchkin wakes up… and I’m typing this I just heard “Miss Maggie can I get out of bed?!?”.. here’s to a new day full of excitement and challenges, that I will take as they come with a clear mind.
Spread love today, kiss and hug those kiddos tight, they need it and so do you!