What all of us can learn from Keanu Reeves to live a more fulfilling life
John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum unseated Avengers: Endgame as the #1 movie at the box office, pulling in $56.8 million domestically ($93.3 million worldwide) in its opening weekend. With a $40M production budget, the film is already profitable. JW3 also earned an A- CinemaScore and an 89% fresh Rotten Tomatoes score — all high marks for a threequel.
And with John Wick, Keanu Reeves has created yet another culturally iconic character, joining the ranks of other characters he’s played like Ted “Theodore” Logan, Johnny Utah, and Neo.
But none of this is the real story to me.
The real story is that all this success does not phase Keanu Reeves one bit. To him, it’s just business as usual— not because he thinks he’s a famous movie star and expects or even deserves to achieve this level of success, but because to him, this is not how he determines his value and self-worth in life.
When I look at how he has handled his personal and professional career, I find that I admire him more and more as time goes on. I reflect on how much all of us could really learn from Keanu Reeves and emulate his way of living more.
“Whoa.” — Ted “Theodore” Logan, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)
The perception to many people is that Keanu is as dumb and clueless as his movie characters, from most notably Ted and to even Neo (“I know Kung Fu.”). And people often belittle and make fun of his acting abilities, despite having received critical acclaim for his acting. In his early days, there was a lot of confirmation bias with press clippings showing reporters talking to him in unflattering and condescending ways, expecting him to answer and act like a child.
He’s a Hollywood enigma of sorts — a celebrity we all know and would get excited for if we met him in person, but is rarely seen on TMZ making scandalous headlines. He lives a pretty private lifestyle — not because he’s some kind of recluse, but because he doesn’t need all the glamour, glitz, and attention. This is the opposite of many Hollywood types who feel the need to constantly demand the spotlight in order to feel relevant or reality stars who feel they need the publicity to crossover to mainstream fame.
So I believe that it’s his innate nature of not needing attention that also makes him nearly immune to the criticisms of being a “dumb and bad actor” — he just doesn’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone. He just…lives. In fact, he seems pretty clever in terms of how he addresses these misperceptions. In an April 2019 interview with GQ, this exchange happens:
[Interviewer] Here is one way in which he is perceptibly very smart: When you ask him a question on the record, he’s already thinking about how his answer will read. He can see the celebrity profile he’s being interviewed for, like it’s streaming past him as a wall of green code. He knows the secret of these types of rooms: You’re sunk if you try to impress, but you can get away if you’re willing to say nothing definitive.
Was there ever any comfort in having your intelligence underestimated in that way? Did it feel like you could then surprise people?
Reeves smiles, coy as the Mona Lisa. “I don’t know how much intelligence I have.”
Full interview here: https://www.gq.com/story/the-legend-of-keanu-reeves?utm_source=pocket-newtab
How many of us are so worried about what other people think that we are constantly trying to prove something to others, whether it’s in our personal or professional life? Perhaps you know people who are posting extravagant or extraordinary things on their Instagram and Facebook feeds on a daily basis, seemingly trying to let us all know how much of a charmed life they lead?
Or how many of us also know people who take to Twitter and Facebook to complain and get on a soapbox, attempting to either tearing someone else down or self-validating their point of view in order to build themselves up? In fact, I know someone on Twitter who rages everyday in an effort to prove how smarter and greater he is than everyone else in history of the world, but that’s another story for another day….
“Choice, the problem is choice.” — Neo, The Matrix (1999)
All in all, Keanu seems to keep things in perspective, knowing that in life, there will be people who will not support you and there will be things that don’t go your way, but you can choose to make peace with it and move one. After all, Keanu has seen his fair share of rejections and failure.
- He was almost blacklisted from 20th Century Fox studios because he turned down Speed 2 back in they day, thinking that the script wasn’t great and at the time, wanted to be in a Shakespeare play in Canada instead
- His movie 47 Ronin was a financial bomb, which jeopardized his standing with big movie studios…
- …which is why despite having Keanu Reeve’s name attached to it, every major studio passed on the first John Wick script due to the premise: a retired assassin goes on a killing spree because his wife dies and a Russian gang kills his dog which was a present from his dying wife
But he just soldiers on, taking on projects that he likes and has a genuine interest in, rather than taking on roles that will boost his ego, prove others wrong, or make him more famous.
Case in point: where you have the Matthew McConaughey’s of the world who felt the need to rebrand himself in order to be taken as a serious actor, we have a guy who is genuinely happy to be working on another sequel to Bill and Ted:
If you look at Keanu in the video, at 54 years old, he seems giddy to be working on this because his fans are excited about it. It doesn’t matter that this film will most likely not win any awards.
“Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?” — Jack Traven, Speed (1994)
Speaking of awards, in basically every industry, there are people who evaluate their self-worth in terms of their title and the awards they’ve received (especially in my industry, advertising). Keanu doesn’t seem to set his sights on making sure his name goes first on the marquee or winning awards like Oscars or Golden Globes, as most actors are wont to do. You also get the sense that even he knows he’s not the best actor in the world — and doesn’t necessarily strive to be. He just takes on roles with the hopes that he does it well and does right by the audience. He simply strives to do what’s best for the film project — how many of us can honestly say they’ve done that or do that consistently?
For example, he’s been known to take pay cuts in order to pour more money into the film project itself so it can be the best that it can be.
- He famously gave a huge portion of his paycheck and proceeds back to The Matrix franchise so that more money would be available for the special effects and costume departments in order to make the final products better. According to an executive who spoke with The Wall Street Journal commented, “He felt that they were the ones who made the movie and that they should participate.”
- In 1997’s The Devil’s Advocate, Keanu Reeves took a pay cut in order to get Al Pacino on onboard the film.
- In 2000’s The Replacements, he also took a pay cut to bring on Gene Hackman.
In the latter two cases, he wanted to experience working with both critically acclaimed actors. Sure, you could argue that he did took a pay cut for the selfish reason of satisfying his own wants, but he’s been quoted as saying “Money is the last thing I think about. I could live on what I have already made for the next few centuries.”
In advertising, I’ve worked with many divas (men and women) who thought themselves above everyone else because of their resume, title, awards, or even who they know. They weren’t interested in doing what’s best for the client or agency, but were only interested in advancing their career at the expense of everyone else. Not only is this mentality toxic, but it’s exhausting to keep up. Yes, we all should definitely keep our self-interests in mind, but when you put your needs above all else, it doesn’t do the greater good. We’re starting to see that play out now more than ever in our political landscape.
Keanu seems to recognize that there is a greater good within the line of work he’s in. In addition to the money he donated to The Matrix special effects and costume departments, Keanu also purchased Harley Davidson motorcycles as a thank you to all the stuntman who put their lives on the line to make the film look spectacular. “We were all in this thing, and we were training together beforehand,” he said in an interview with the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. “I just wanted… to give a bigger thank-you to all these guys who helped me make this, I think, one of the great movie fights in the history of cinema.”
When you think about your successes in life, how much do you attribute it to others and in turn, thank or reward them for it? If you’re in a management position, think about how you will nurture them and grow them, after all, if they shine, you shine. If you’re in a subordinate position, think about your role and how you can best fit and make the project better. If you’re not sure on how to make it better, can you find people who can help both you and the project? Sometimes, trying to play the hero is not the best course of action as ego gets in the way of decision making.
“When do we talk about money?” — Kevin Lomax, The Devil’s Advocate (1997)
So here’s a guy who has inadvertently has fallen into iconic roles without even meaning to, even recognizing that he’s probably not the best actor on the set. Those movies have made a huge impact in the film industry, redefining genres and inspiring future generations of directors and actors to follow suit. All the while, he’s modest and humble, is rarely in the press for something scandalous, and is just grateful to have work at all and with all walks of people who can make his work the best that it can be.
Even with this attitude and work ethic, there’s still more to Keanu than meets the eye. With the money he makes, he actually gives a huge chunk of it back to society — oftentimes quietly and without any PR. He spreads his wealth to not only productive staff and crew on many of his movies, but he silently funds children’s’ hospitals without seeking attention or recognition. In a Ladies Home Journal article published in 2009: “I have a private foundation that’s been running for five or six years, and it helps aid a couple of children’s hospitals and cancer research. I don’t like to attach my name to it; I just let the foundation do what it does.”
Keanu has donated to SCORE (Spinal Cord Opportunities for Rehabilitation Endowment), a charity founded after a UCLA hockey player’s spinal cord was injured during a post-season game.
He’s also manned phone lines, most notably at a Stand Up to Cancer telethon in 2008. In this case, he did use his celebrity status to help with donations. As ABC Anchor Charles Gibson stated, “In the long run there’s a public awareness responsibility here that may be more important than the money.”
Beyond the medical donations, the internet is abound with many stories of his generosity towards everyday fans as well, helping him to earn a reputation as Hollywood’s nicest guy. In a recent story from March 2019, Keanu was on a flight from San Francisco to Burbank airport in Los Angeles, but had to make an emergency landing in Bakersfield, CA, which is about a 2 hour drive from the Burbank airport. Naturally, this is an inconvenience to everyone involved. Any other celebrity (or even layman) on the flight might have thrown a fit citing how important and precious their time is, and that the delay is unacceptable. Instead, Keanu is captured on video to have calmly discussed their options with an airline representative on how to finish their last leg of their trip to LA. Collectively, all the passengers agreed that their best option was to take a van for that 2 hour drive to LA rather than wait for a new flight. In an amazingly wild story all captured on Instagram, fellow passengers told the story about how Keanu helped organize the drive and kept them entertained during the 2 hour drive:
But the thing to note is that it’s just not about Keanu doing a cool thing. I think it’s the idea that Keanu feels like he’s just a normal guy like you and me, and doesn’t seem to think he deserves any more than he has. Yet, he recognizes his celebrity status can help elevate the most mundane of situations for everyday people.
There’s something very fitting about the fact that he played Buddha in the film Little Buddha (1993). He seems to have adopted a lifestyle and mindset that has glimpses of Buddhist teachings:
- Treating others how you would want to be treated
- Practicing selfless conduct that reflects the life you want to live that is peaceful, honest, and shows compassion for all beings
- Earn a living that doesn’t harm others and causes suffering to others
These only scratch the surface of Buddhism, but summarizes the kind acts that seem to drive Keanu in his personal and professional life, which is something I think we all should strive for in our daily lives.
“You wanted me back… I’m back!” — John Wick, John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)
And just when I thought I couldn’t be more impressed with the man, he recently went on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and was asked by the host “What do you think happens when we die, Keanu Reeves?” There’s a laughter in the audience, again no doubt caused by people’s misperceptions that he’s as shallow as the character he plays and wouldn’t give an answer that has any depth.
But I thought his answer was very poignant and profound, so much so that even Stephen Colbert was caught off guard and rendered speechless for a long moment (question and answer at 9.50 mark):
“I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn’t be our style. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory… lasts forever.” — Shane Falco, The Replacements (2000)
When we were teenagers, I grew up having a crush in Kathy Ireland and my cousin Mimi had a crush on Keanu Reeves. I couldn’t understand why she did (duh — look at his picture). At the time, Keanu was blowing up and I didn’t get it — I didn’t think he wasn’t the greatest of actors and yet there were courses being taught at universities about his filmography. In fact, his next project is doing a voice over for a character in this summer’s Toy Story 4!
And now, as an adult, I feel enlightened and appreciate him for what he is, and think that we all absolutely could learn from him and emulate his way of living both personally and professionally.
- Don’t worry so much about what others think of you. There is no need to prove anything to anyone so long as you are being true to yourself.
- Surround yourself with good people who will enrich your life just as you can enrich theirs.
- Challenge yourself and take on different projects that will allow you to grow.
- Yes, certainly in life, there will be times when need to be your own cheerleader. But there is something to be said about working hard and doing what you do for your own good and the greater good. The universe will find a way to reward you. If you have to constantly build yourself up by bringing others down, then there is something amiss.
- Pay it forward. Money isn’t everything, but it can allow you live your life with enough meaning. Make enough to survive and do what you can to help others with the rest. There is satisfaction in bringing others up.
Be excellent to each other.
