“Get over it! You don’t need to get him back. You deserve better.” These are the words that are always repeated like a mantra to women who lost the men they love. When the feeling stings harder than what you’re used to, you wonder and ask, “how to get my ex boyfriend back?”

How to deal with a breakup

However, you need to ask yourself a few questions before taking any desperate measures on how to get your man back.

  1. Does he want to get back with you?
  2. Do you still love him?
  3. Why do you think you still need him now? Are you afraid of losing him for good — never knowing how to win back an ex who could have been a potential life partner?

Your answers will lead you to one important factor that you need to consider, especially when you plan on how to get your boyfriend back — time

Just like how you can’t control time, you can’t also control the thoughts, feelings and decisions of your ex. When you come over knocking on his door, don’t expect him to change his mind by looking good, seducing him, making him jealous, or saying in a clear-cut fashion, “I want you back.” Your plans on how to get ex boyfriend back will only backfire.

What can you do to win him back without looking insecure or needy? The answer is to let time do the trick. If you do, then you don’t have to worry about how to get your ex boyfriend back on your own.

With that in mind, here are some tips you can follow on how to win him back by being subtle about it and without going overboard.

1. Accept why you both chose to end the relationship.

The first step to knowing whether or not your ex wants to get back is to understand the reason behind the breakup. Don’t just focus on the final events that eventually made him say, “I’m breaking up with you”. Delve deeper into the little things that led to the breakup.

If the guy initiated the breakup, he will tell you why he wanted to from his perspective. Once you listen and understand, you will see which part of the relationship (as well as yourself) needs some work. If you sense that he has moved on, it’s time for you to accept him, instead of searching for signs and solutions on how to make your ex botyfriend want you back.

2. If you still harbor romantic feelings for him, let him go — completely.

You won’t know how to win a guy back if you continue to cling onto those old feelings you had for him.

If you make your move now then suddenly things are starting to be okay between you two, it may only spark something that should’ve ended — such as the desire to be with him in an intimate way again. When the guy doesn’t show any interest anymore and you misinterpret that sign, you will only struggle because the relationship is still bound to fail.

Know that men are wired differently from women. They love the thrill of the chase. If they can no longer experience that feeling, then there is a great chance that they will also start to lose their interest. This does not happen in all cases, though. Women, on the other hand, tend to connect things even when they’re not connected.

So focus on being the right person first. Be the best woman you can be — and let him do the chasing.

3. Act as if you’re never getting back together

Holding on to the possibility of being with your ex in the future can damage your relationship even more. You will end up investing all your time, energy and focus on that thought. And if ever things don’t turn out the way you planned, it will only cause you to get hurt even more. Acting as if there’s no chance of you reuniting with your ex can already be a sign of a future with him.

When you finally stop planning on how to win your ex boyfriend back, that’s the time for you to fix and build up your own life now that he’s out of the picture. Live your life, meet other people and do all the things you weren’t able to do for yourself when you were still in that relationship.

Once you become more fulfilled on your own, you can return to the relationship without having to let your former ex fill a void inside you. Without even trying to find ways on how to get your ex boyfriend back, he will eventually notice the new you. He will realize how valuable you are to him.

This might strike as the “common sense” type of advice, but once you’ve broken up with your boyfriend, there’s a high chance that you won’t be getting back together anytime soon.

However, that doesn’t mean you will never get back together in the end. After all, no one knows what the future may hold. There’s still a chance that you’ll get back together. It may take time, but if you play your cards right, he will definitely come rushing to you again.

Bring your boyfriend back