Do you find yourself always trying to make others happy, often at your own expense, whether due to work, family obligations, or other reasons? This tendency to prioritize others can originate from a deep-seated need to adapt to one’s environment for survival, a condition sometimes rooted in unresolved issues from childhood.
Those with a high degree of empathy are particularly susceptible, as they can easily take on the emotions of those around them, mistakenly believing these feelings are their own. This often results in a cycle of seeking validation through the approval of others, believing this makes them “good” or “kind.”
In fact, we cannot be a good person by pleasing other people. Because not every boiling pots are worth waiting — we can still be nice, but we do not want to feed our energy blindly especially when there’s no reciprocation. It is solely your responsibility to use your discernment who you are going to surround yourself with as failing to do so leaves you vulnerable.
- Self < Others
True self-love requires recognizing your own needs before you can effectively care for others. Without knowing how to “recharge your batteries,” you risk depleting your resources, leading to imbalance and potentially contributing to feelings of depression or anxiety. These issues often remain unidentified until they’ve significantly impacted your life.
Imagine having a partner or friend who always places others first that leaves you feeling neglected and unimportant. People pleasers struggle to establish secure, supportive environments, even for themselves, which can lead to relationships where effort and affection are unreciprocated. This imbalance can result in isolation, as those around you may take without giving back, leaving you alone when you most need support.
2. Good Boy/Girl Syndrome
What defines a “good” person? “Goodness” is subjective, varying greatly from one person to another. It’s imperative to understand yourself and your values to navigate your life’s journey effectively. Seeking validation from others can lead you into relationships where you’re vulnerable to manipulation, especially by those with narcissistic tendencies. Because you are letting other people defining your own life, not you.
3. You Get What You Put Out
People that brings fulfillment to our lives are built under the name of the reciprocation whether it is physical, mental, or emotional — as much as we are giving out, they are filling our cups in returns.
I know. Being authentic is the hardest thing to do in the world as it requires a lot of courage, bravery, and confidence to speak truth when nobody is. And in fact, speaking truth and stepping into your power will repel a lot of people, the one who you thought you were friends.
Whether you want to admit it or not, the fear you brushed it under the rug always catches you back.
If you are constantly putting a facade just to please other people, you are telling universe that this is what you are desiring — and universe will bring you whatever you have put out to the universe.
OLD DAYS ARE GONE. Following others blindly just because you were told to do so, grinding yourself 24/7 feeding false hope to yourself that one day it will get better while sacrificing your own happiness may lead you to tangible success, but know that it will take a lot longer to recover your wounded heart and that cannot be fulfilled solely by materialistic matters.
Happiness comes from making choices that are right for you, not those dictated by others. Be a good person to yourself therefore you can be a good person to others. The courage to prioritize your well-being enables you to protect and care for those important to you. Choose wisely who you share your energy with.
Time to put yourself first and speak truth.
