This is a very thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. I’m not sure I agree with all your conclusions but you’re definitely on to something pin-pointing male loneliness as a hugely significant societal issue.
I think the causes of rape and rape-culture are many and varied and hugely complex. For example what about very lonely men who have no impulse to rape; rather the effects turn inward, toward self-loathing. (I have some personal experience of this.)
I also very much appreciated the tone of your writing: trying to understand a distressing and disturbing reality of life – which also had affected you personally – while resisting easy condemnations that fail to get to the heart of the matter.