Dear Starbucks,

I hate to do this through a post on Medium, but this felt better than talking to you in person because it would’ve cost me another $4.25. This post will be the last memory you have of me and my broke ass.

Don’t take it personally, it’s just that given the choice between a Ferrari payment for coffee and trying to find a seat in your overcrowded dining area, I’d much rather…you know, be able to pay the rent.

I thought I could just see you once every week or so but that’s not the case, and so I must move on. You’ll be better off with your deep-pocketed friends anyway, and there’s plenty of addicts like me that won’t give you up.

Sure, I’ll miss bumping into friends and family while I act like this isn’t my 3rd credit card swipe of the morning as the Starbucks vacuum cleaner attachment to my bank account slurps noisily just like I do on my foo-foo-latte, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice.

Don’t worry, It’s not me; it’s you.


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