I’m tired of being me.

I’m only looking grumpy because fake trees don’t smell like real trees.

Not in a “I want to die” kind of way.

But just tired of fighting the same battles. The same struggles of inadequacy. Fighting the same voices in my head. Trying to ignore the same jealousy of people.

Wanting to be a better husband. A more loving father. A real friend.

Trying to gain some sort of foothold in the podcasting world while seeing everyone else’s boat around me get higher and higher.

Attempting to be smart, helpful, and honest in my business but feeling the same feelings of being misunderstood.

It’s starting to feel like all this slogging around in the muck and murkiness isn’t worth it anymore. Like I should try and get a normal job and make normal money with normal benefits.

Keeping up with the rat race as dictated by those around us.

Nothing lasts forever. Not even the cold November rain, right Axl?

And now I’m just plain tired. It’s 12:03am. I should probably get some sleep.