(You can listen to an audio version of this on my podcast about podcasting here: http://goodstuff.fm/smym/89)
Unlike something like StartUp this isn’t my full time gig so it’s difficult to maintain a focus on growing one thing — Goodstuff — when I’m also trying to maintain and grow a client based consulting business. Devoting one day and random other moments throughout the week to Goodstuff makes it difficult to build momentum. Ideas and thoughts you have one day get lost in the shuffle of life and fade away and at times we’re doing the 2 steps forward, one and a half steps back process.
But I’m tremendously grateful that I have that one day.
I remember a few years ago podcasting only on evenings/weekends because I was working full time for other people. I have to remind myself of that because something I struggle with is the “if-onlys” — if only I had just one day a week to podcast, imagine what I could do? If only I had 3 days to podcast, image what I could do? If only I had enough people supporting me on Patreon, imagine what I could do?
The “if-onlys” become my excuse for not doing the hard work. For not just putting my head down and pushing forward. For letting myself get depressed that success isn’t coming as quickly as I’d like.
Here’s a few more of my “if-onlys”:
- If only I had an audience that was as responsive as that other podcaster’s?
- If only I had a DBX 286 compressor, then my audio would sound so much better and I’d have success.
- If only I had more friends around me — “in real life” — that wanted to podcast together, I’d be able to have some support?
- If only I knew how to program in Ruby and understood postgres Grunt gulp frameworking, I’d be able to move us forward (those aren’t real things).
These are just a few of my real life “if-onlys” that I think about and let get me down. I find when I have to give actual voice to my if-only’s — either by talking it through with my wife like on episode 101 of Daily(ish), blogging or tweeting it out to the world or just saying it out loud even — it can take a lot of the if-only’s power away.
It doesn’t always work. I’m not some self help guru here. Sometimes the if-only’s shut me down for a whole day and it’s all I can do to just respond to an email. The darkness overwhelms my brain and everything is just too hard. Which sounds pitiful to say out loud but I’d rather name the demons and bring them out into the light than let them lurk in the darkness.
I’m jealous of and celebrate those folks out there who can win the fight against the if-onlys. Or for whom they don’t even enter their brain. I’m blessed with insanely good looks but struggle with if-onlys. We all have our burdens to bear I suppose.
Alright. Time for me to go and get some stuff done before I have to fight off another if-only.
Send me some thoughts, feedback, questions or some of your “if-onlys” that get in the way of getting stuff done. Hit me up on Twitter at @ichris. You can also support me on Patreon if you’re interested.